Top 5 Funniest Jokes from "Noble Ape" Jim Gaffigan

  Үзсэн тоо 155,787


8 сарын өмнө

These are the top jokes from my standup special Noble Ape! Do you agree? Let me know below. PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon.
Fast Food
Asian American (Full Set)
Florida Man (Full Set)
Ontario vs Quebec
Canadian Map
Halifax Donair
Drake Story
Dog Birthdays
Cold Weather
My Wife's Brain Tumor
My Least Favorite Doctor
UK vs US
Morning Person
Fish are Gross
Steak is Manly
Idiot Abroad
Easier to be a Guy
Big Family
Victoria's Secret
Bath vs Shower
Can't Stop Eating
Fitness Goals
Home Birth
Waffle House
Hot Pockets
I'm Korean
Doing Nothing
Out To Dinner
MERCH Proceeds donated to
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Hotdog & Eggs
Peas & Corn
Mikey Takes Over
Oatmeal Soup
Garbage Plate
Chicken Fillet
Bacon Wrapped Steaks
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
Daddy Dog
Hot Pocket
Garden Veggies
My Kids React my 1st Stand Up TV Spot
My Kids React my 1st 1/2 hr Special
DINNER WITH THE GAFFIGANS nightly 6pm E. Watch past episodes click JOIN & become MEMBER. Fee (99 cents) donated to
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St.Louis Pizza
Garbage Plate
Polish Boy
PALE FORCE w/ Conan -
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Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.
TEXT JIM 646-980-6600

James 6 өдрийн өмнө
Thank you Jim Gaffigan . I have to have a colonoscopy this Friday am. The prep is always the worst part . The humor is much appreciated !
John King
John King 23 өдрийн өмнө
You a good man, Jimmy G.
Peter Myers
Peter Myers 2 сарын өмнө
Claudia coy
Claudia coy 2 сарын өмнө
Julie Hovar
Julie Hovar 2 сарын өмнө
Love you mom and dad.... yeah, and of course, all of our Precious little humans. Thanks!
357 Magnum
357 Magnum 2 сарын өмнө
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist ? Pokemon
Mike Devlin
Mike Devlin 4 сарын өмнө
Bloody luvable!
Metal storm
Metal storm 4 сарын өмнө
Being vulgar at your stand ups is like cheating because it can always provide a cheap short term laughs. Coming up with good spirited clean comedy is far more challenging because the performer had to figure out a way to send the sophisticated adult themed messages with more limited toolbox. The casual way Jim succeeds in this task and he is so masterful at it, that the illusion of effortlessness gives a hint about how much work has been put within his monologues. That’s exactly the thing, the masters of the craft always make it look easy. On top of that, the level of self awareness is so charming, that it can cure a depression. We are lucky to have a performer as Jim Gaffigan :) Cheers, Jim, happy new year, best wishes to you and your beloved ones
self directed soul
self directed soul 4 сарын өмнө
Jokes on top of jokes! Amazing!
Truth Spoken Eternally
Truth Spoken Eternally 4 сарын өмнө
You are hilarious 😂! Thanks for the laughs!
Sonya Lenz
Sonya Lenz 5 сарын өмнө
How many times...?? Never enough! Thank you!
Thomas Fields
Thomas Fields 6 сарын өмнө
“I your unfamiliar that’s the doctor that shoves a camera up your butt.” “You like photography? Oh your gonnA LOVVVEE THIS.”
patricia pantano
patricia pantano 6 сарын өмнө
A Gaffigan laugh a day is totally therapeutic!!! 💊💊💊
c0l0jar0 7 сарын өмнө
Did you get a cavity filled or a cavity filled? Lol
Patti Mayer
Patti Mayer 7 сарын өмнө
Love watching your shows!
Alma Alma
Alma Alma 7 сарын өмнө
Drink this in the bathroom 🚽 😂😂😂 I was in the bathroom 🚽 for hours, ... Ignoring phone calls 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂😂
Julie Poulos
Julie Poulos 7 сарын өмнө
Jim’s comedy has gotten me thru the pandemic! Spot on and smart comedy!
subliteral 7 сарын өмнө
Jim Gaffigan has been motherfucking funny for a very long time.
Matthew Leider
Matthew Leider 7 сарын өмнө
“ I thought I was Italian but it turns out I’m Eastern European....” Sicilian eggplant.” I love this guy. What’s a Croatian?
*GaToR* 6 сарын өмнө
Hope you're not serious about your statement, "What's a Croatian?!"
Amy Dameron
Amy Dameron 8 сарын өмнө
Learn to keep your worthless political opinions to your self Jim before you ruin your career!!!!
Bubber Cakes
Bubber Cakes 8 сарын өмнө
Hey advertisers; do I interrupt you in the middle of your videos?
jack marsden
jack marsden 8 сарын өмнө
Will never watch another Gaffigan video since he started spouting nasty political views. Idiot just lost half his audience and he will notice it soon.
Vincent Morris
Vincent Morris 5 сарын өмнө
Here's my political view if you think anyone in our government really cares about our well being then you are truly delusional. I'm a family man and it's my responsibility to ensure the safety and well being of myself and family. Our government has been screwed up for years but certainly hit rock bottom under Trump.
Cynthia Tingler
Cynthia Tingler 7 сарын өмнө
Well, I’m a conservative and I will continue watching him. Everyone in America should be allowed their opinion.
HamiltonSeen 8 сарын өмнө
Do you really think it's half of his audience? In order to laugh, you need to have a soul. Y'all will be fine with Foxworthy and... Oh, there are literally no other comedians who aren't speaking against Trump.
Iris Oscuris
Iris Oscuris 8 сарын өмнө
Anyway, so I’m at the gastroenterologist...
Ashley Gallo
Ashley Gallo 5 сарын өмнө
Lol me too!
Veronica Vale
Veronica Vale 8 сарын өмнө
"One for fun." lol
michele ronzoni
michele ronzoni 8 сарын өмнө
We saw your Noble Ape show live in Atlanta and it’s soooo good. Best Father’s Day gift ever for my hubby. Love this bit!! Thx for sharing it. 🙏🏼😂
Aunt Busy
Aunt Busy 8 сарын өмнө
Make sure you are registered to vote. Vote people vote! Vote early, vote in person. If you can’t vote in person, fill out your mail in ballot and drop it off in person! Lets take America back!
off the wall
off the wall 8 сарын өмнө
"the" is a definite article. without "the" is article definite or imaginary?
Sonny Burnett
Sonny Burnett 8 сарын өмнө
I must have had the oldest and hopefully last doc to perform this procedure while I was both awake and without pain meds. And when I would moan and howl he called me a baby. Think I might have been on the sadist network.
Philip R.
Philip R. 2 сарын өмнө
My sympathies -- I had a similar experience with a cystoscopy. Ton of fun.
Death By Design Graphics
Death By Design Graphics 8 сарын өмнө
Trans out my ancestors are british royalty and two currency featured presidents Abraham Lincoln and Ulysses S. Grant. Not even making that up, Grant was my grandmother's surname who was his great granddaughter and my grandfather was a nephew of Lincoln. That's quite the family legacy to live up to. Result: dishwasher and prep cook. Thanks for the false hope genes!
LatinaKamilla 8 сарын өмнө
Is it just me or does Jim have a huge bulge...well, that explains the wife. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Just kidding Jim! You’re awesome 😎🥂
Ashley Gallo
Ashley Gallo 5 сарын өмнө
Great ty for making me glace at his crotch lol
BlueHeavenly Lennard
BlueHeavenly Lennard 8 сарын өмнө
Thank you!
A dorable
A dorable 8 сарын өмнө
'Camera up the butt' is a dangerous procedure. Also, useless. 2 of our friends had this procedure done. Clean bill of health 😁👍 100% healthy. Approx 1-2 months later BOTH were diagnosed with colon cancer, and huge tumors.
bad1dobby 3 сарын өмнө
@A dorable Except you weren’t talking about A TINY BIT OF DOUBT, you were talking about it being ‘useless’. No medical procedure is 100% accurate, and nobody claims they are. On the basis of two failures you declare colonoscopy to be ‘useless’, which means you think two errors negate the millions of times the procedure has led to a positive outcome for someone who doesn’t happen to be one of your two friends. Could you be more self-absorbed?
A dorable
A dorable 3 сарын өмнө
@bad1dobby well, what does that say about the test? If they were diagnosed with the cancer within weeks of having a Colonoscopy? It does put A TINY BIT OF DOUBT into the procedure.
bad1dobby 3 сарын өмнө
Well, clearly that demonstrates your claim that colonoscopies are useless. I mean, two whole examples where they got it wrong. So who’s going to tell all the people who are alive now a colonoscopy led to their bowel cancer being discovered early enough for successful intervention? Somebody needs to tell them about your two friends, who conclusively prove that colonoscopies are useless.
Judith McBride
Judith McBride 8 сарын өмнө
Yes!! Yes !! And YES!! I love every one!!! 😜🤪🤓
Mis antHrOpic
Mis antHrOpic 8 сарын өмнө
👋🏻 Hey You have AHMAZING taste in comedians So you’re probably awesome 😎 Enjoy your week and all the laughs
Johny Ricco
Johny Ricco 8 сарын өмнө
The funniest joke is the one about the surgeon in the cafeteria.
T D 8 сарын өмнө
Give this guy a medal, or maybe put him on a holy card.
Geo Dude
Geo Dude 4 сарын өмнө
With that beard, he really could pass as a prophet or saint on a holy card. 😂
Eric Melto
Eric Melto 8 сарын өмнө
Some of these jokes are just for the fathers.
A dorable
A dorable 8 сарын өмнө
Yes, just hope they don't get colonoscopies though. They're dangerous, needless and completely useless.
eMBo twentyfour
eMBo twentyfour 8 сарын өмнө
Brit: I went to hospital. Me: side aching from continuous laughing. BTW, they also say: I went to spa.
Jennifer葛 7 сарын өмнө
Funny thing, the place they do the colonoscopies at my hospital is called SPA (Special Procedures Area). So "to go to Spa" where I'm from means "to get a colonoscopy"! 😂
Dreamy Jeannie
Dreamy Jeannie 8 сарын өмнө
Honestly Jim, face it, you’ve never won an argument w Jeannie! Your timing is impeccable! 😜
Pluto Believer
Pluto Believer 8 сарын өмнө
LOL...yeah...colonoscopy...not a desirable experience...unless you're a freak...though necessary when you get to a certain age (wink, wink)...
linshanhsiang 8 сарын өмнө
"Lotion in the basket"?
carolh1954 8 сарын өмнө
The Peddler I haven’t watched it either. Not a comedy! :-)
The Peddler
The Peddler 8 сарын өмнө
@carolh1954 Ah. Thanks for the reference. I'm not allowed to watch that movie so I won't Google it.
carolh1954 8 сарын өмнө
That is a reference to the movie Silence of the Lambs. I don’t want to freak you out by explaining it, but if you Google it you will find what happened there. Very funny here, if you know the reference.
The Peddler
The Peddler 8 сарын өмнө
I didn't get that either...
Leona Scherer
Leona Scherer 8 сарын өмнө
I love you so much! I watch all your videos and laugh and laugh. Thank you so much for sharing your fantastic sense of humor.
David DiStefano
David DiStefano 8 сарын өмнө
Chief gutter inspector (the drunk) lol
Daniel D
Daniel D 8 сарын өмнө
I live in chronic pain after a spinal fracture and my pain dr says to look for things that make me laugh to brighten my mood. I found Jim G recently and he’s a Godsend! I watch him every day and am so thankful to have a little light shine in my life. Thank you Jim!!
Daniel D
Daniel D 8 сарын өмнө
jimgaffigan Wow thank you so much!! For all you do. Blessings...
Daniel D
Daniel D 8 сарын өмнө
Yes eight operations with another big one planned in October. مكائيل جبرائيل
مكائيل جبرائيل
مكائيل جبرائيل 8 сарын өмнө
Same here. Did they put bars in there for you too? Mine fractured due to a big patch of cancerous lymph glands weakening it to the point it began to get fractured. Cancer is gone now tho! Humor definetely the best! Especially with Jim here you cant go wrong :) Are you lying down alot to get tension off the muscles that are taking over the job of carrying your back? Maybe something to look into if not already familiar is holotrophic breathwork. This can also help with getting more aware and letting go of muscle tension in particular areas of the body. It has alot of other benefits too.
jimgaffigan 8 сарын өмнө
Hang in there Daniel
DingoAteMyBaby 8 сарын өмнө
He missed a good opportunity to say “did you get a cavity filled or fill a cavity?”
Terri Drollinger
Terri Drollinger 8 сарын өмнө
So funny & so spot on 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
D Renova
D Renova 8 сарын өмнө
Even though you're wife went thru surgery for the tumor ( Thank God 🙏 she's fine) I still love the jokes about your kids 😜!
Not Sure
Not Sure 8 сарын өмнө
I saw it before I liked it
T D 8 сарын өмнө
name win best documentary ever!
Dano Duncan
Dano Duncan 8 сарын өмнө
"yeah... I'm going back on food stamps"... rofl !... xD
ccreasman 8 сарын өмнө
Oh my gosh, dude...the Viking joke about Sweden. Priceless!! That’s one I don’t remember hearing before and it so caught me off guard. I so needed that belly laugh!
Howard Kerr
Howard Kerr 8 сарын өмнө
I realize that most of the United States knows this already, but Jim Gaffigan is A GENIUS.
Will K
Will K 8 сарын өмнө he?
Howard Kerr
Howard Kerr 8 сарын өмнө
@Billy BuskirkII Actually I was going to do that, originally, but the last time I left a favorable comment that included Jeannie Gaffigan I got raked over the to speak. Dammed if you, dammed if you don't.
Billy BuskirkII
Billy BuskirkII 8 сарын өмнө
Gotta give props to Mrs. GAFFIGAN ! They are a Brilliant team! The best thing since sliced bread some say.
Billy BuskirkII
Billy BuskirkII 8 сарын өмнө
Gotta give props to the Mrs. Without her Jim could do it. Just not as well i believe.
Anna LA
Anna LA 8 сарын өмнө
Just the other day, I was listening to Rob Brydon talking about his youngest child's birth and when he said, "she had already gone to hospital" and I burst out laughing because of this bit. Rob Brydon should have Jim on his MNdown show. Rob could do his dead-on impressions and Jim could do his New York accent for all historical figures.
Billy BuskirkII
Billy BuskirkII 8 сарын өмнө
Jim is the best at turning anything into comedy!!! The best!!! Always makes me laugh! I have had friends waste their money on genetic testing which is ridiculous!!!🙄
Mr V
Mr V 8 сарын өмнө
Did an eastern european dentist hurt you Jim? Time to heal! 🤓
Brighton Evans
Brighton Evans 8 сарын өмнө
I know like all of his specials by heart, I listen to them when I go to sleep and Jim if you are reading this you are a huge inspiration for me. And I would love to meet you one day.
ToddFrom RichardsonTx
ToddFrom RichardsonTx 8 сарын өмнө
Top 5 fav for me!
GeminieCricket 8 сарын өмнө
FYI the best advice is to fast on liquids for two to three days before the procedure and the time in the bathroom is minimal. Pass it along. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Sue Brown
Sue Brown 8 сарын өмнө
There was so much humour in this for fun..stepped on a puppy , got me going! Doctors dumbing down the size of tumours compared to fruit true. All so funny and the laughter of the audience was the cherry on the top..a tip of the hat to you 🎩!!
Mc glizzy
Mc glizzy 8 сарын өмнө
I love clean funny comedy.
Marcela Shagash
Marcela Shagash 8 сарын өмнө
Karen Kranig
Karen Kranig 8 сарын өмнө
Thanks for the always fresh laughs Jim! You’re my total binge watch in these horrid times....Hilarious, your voice inflection and timing are so spot on!!!! Love to you and the fam!!!!🤣🤣🤣
Erin m
Erin m 8 сарын өмнө
I love you Jim! I listen to your stuff over and over... cry laugh every time
milkshake123 8 сарын өмнө
Best comedian ever!
Will K
Will K 8 сарын өмнө
Jim, you should watch Owen Benjamin episode #930. He basically sums up the situation you are in after alienating well over half of the people that supported you in the past. No hate just fact. You are mentioned more than once so don't tap out early.
Will K
Will K 8 сарын өмнө that what was said?
HamiltonSeen 8 сарын өмнө
Sooooo... Everyone else can express their political opinions on social media, except Jim?
T D 8 сарын өмнө
@ACiDroN Guttergirl < Smart and witty!
Will K
Will K 8 сарын өмнө
@Kevin Getchell 👍
Kevin Getchell
Kevin Getchell 8 сарын өмнө
@ACiDroN Guttergirl saw your channel. Great photography.
Nan ‘59
Nan ‘59 8 сарын өмнө
I love the new Mike and Pat shirts! it’s great
Ashley Gallo
Ashley Gallo 8 сарын өмнө
I love you jim thanks for helping me sleep in a good mood. I always watch you before bed so i laugh and not worry.
Kristy Michas
Kristy Michas 8 сарын өмнө
Making it through the crazy times with a smile b/c if Jim's humor
SparksDrinker 8 сарын өмнө
except went he went all crazy a couple weeks ago with a bunch of political ranting, that was disappointing
Nan ‘59
Nan ‘59 8 сарын өмнө
ME, too! Me, toooo!💓💓👍🏼💓💕💕✌🏻👍🏻
Emily Elizabeth
Emily Elizabeth 8 сарын өмнө
Deep Water
Deep Water 8 сарын өмнө
Hey buddy I am adopted... And I love that joke:) Blessings 🇨🇦
Nan ‘59
Nan ‘59 8 сарын өмнө
Hi friend!
Nan ‘59
Nan ‘59 8 сарын өмнө
Give Jim. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻’s up everyone!
Orangeflava 8 сарын өмнө
Jun Jun's World
Jun Jun's World 8 сарын өмнө
Im 6 and 7 lol
Jun Jun's World
Jun Jun's World 8 сарын өмнө
I liked it before I saw it lol
Dongle McTitties
Dongle McTitties 6 сарын өмнө
Everyone ought to do that, support Jim!
Phooie 2112
Phooie 2112 6 сарын өмнө
@Jun Jun's World 😊🖒
Jun Jun's World
Jun Jun's World 6 сарын өмнө
@Phooie 2112 definitely lol
Phooie 2112
Phooie 2112 6 сарын өмнө
Would that be premeditated? 😊
Dr. Rich Blxckmxn
Dr. Rich Blxckmxn 8 сарын өмнө
•4mb3r• 8 сарын өмнө
Jim, you're the best! I love watching your videos and laughing at them! Your channel is my only source of entertainment! 👑✨
Evangelos Yaitanes
Evangelos Yaitanes 8 сарын өмнө
yas queen
Evangelos Yaitanes
Evangelos Yaitanes 8 сарын өмнө
im third
Tony Yalch
Tony Yalch 8 сарын өмнө
Jim Gaffigan has been one of my favorite comedians for a long time. My family always listens to his jokes about camping every time we go. I hope he and his family are doing well during this time
Tony Yalch
Tony Yalch 8 сарын өмнө
Who Cares? Thank you kindly. I hope everyone is having a safe and happy September.
Mis antHrOpic
Mis antHrOpic 8 сарын өмнө
Tony Yalch btw, you have amazing taste in comedy and that was a really sweet and thoughtful message you left for him. I bet you’re an awesome dude 😎 I hope you’re having an amazing September 🤭
Mis antHrOpic
Mis antHrOpic 8 сарын өмнө
Tony Yalch speaking of he and his family they have a MNdown channel on here where they do live dinners and stuff, last I saw they were a jolly happy lil crew. 🤗❤️🤩
bfkennedy 8 сарын өмнө
I like Jim!
Jun Jun's World
Jun Jun's World 8 сарын өмнө
Jim like you too lol
QueenVibes Star
QueenVibes Star 8 сарын өмнө
Me too
Andrew Laman
Andrew Laman 8 сарын өмнө
What’s not to like?
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