"Kale Propaganda" - Jim Gaffigan Standup (Obsessed)

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jimgaffigan

10 сарын өмнө

Kale is a lie and we all know it! You cant fool me whole foods, I know it tastes like bug spray! Click subscribe for daily standup videos!
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TEXT JIM 646-980-6600
Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 2 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.

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jp allen
jp allen 3 өдрийн өмнө
Jim is literally the funniest man in America..... love this guy...
SP Conrad
SP Conrad 8 өдрийн өмнө
Aldi's for groceries to save coin and I die when I die. I will eat happy and enjoy ice cream as long as I can. Funny stuff
Karen Aller
Karen Aller 9 өдрийн өмнө
Hilarious lol
Brett Craigsly
Brett Craigsly 15 өдрийн өмнө
Jim Gaffigan is a tyrannical propaganda machine that brainwashes you with his extremist views on kale and hot pockets and colonoscopies and nipples.
Kristy Moore
Kristy Moore 23 өдрийн өмнө
Now the new trend is “bowl” for everything.... just a new name for casserole. Eek. Yes, I gave you that. Run with it.
Kale Adams
Kale Adams 24 өдрийн өмнө
My name is kale
Prairie Viking
Prairie Viking 25 өдрийн өмнө
I actually know a guy named Kale. Yes, he's gay.
Nieczerwony
Nieczerwony 25 өдрийн өмнө
My uncle used to fed pigs with kale.
Brian Franey Sr.
Brian Franey Sr. Сарын өмнө
Its not Whole Foods, its Whole Wallet.
Kathryn Mast
Kathryn Mast Сарын өмнө
In my younger years, I would go on a “healthy” diet of salad and cottage cheese. In order to eat the cottage cheese I alway buried in a mound of sugar! The salad canceled the sugar calories😁
jimgaffigan
jimgaffigan Сарын өмнө
Thanks ❤️
Liam Hayman
Liam Hayman Сарын өмнө
This is how kale should be pronounced “Kael”: ugly bearded leaf that tastes like cigarette ashes wrapped in burned hair
Redlined997 C2S
Redlined997 C2S Сарын өмнө
That was a good one. :)
chandra dekeyser
chandra dekeyser Сарын өмнө
😈😹🤠
Binlu Song
Binlu Song 2 сарын өмнө
and I hate kale to my guts. it is like the worst taste ever grass on this planet... tried once and never touched or even looked at again. and I am not a fussy person at all when it comes to food.
pop5678eye
pop5678eye 2 сарын өмнө
Seriously when I was growing up I thought kale was always just decoration for pretentious parties. I was right.
john doe
john doe 2 сарын өмнө
What is kale
T.L. Hunter
T.L. Hunter 2 сарын өмнө
Kale is one of the most heavily sprayed crops with pesticides. He may have actually tasted bug spray.
Tom Frazier
Tom Frazier 2 сарын өмнө
Kale was an inedible garnish like parsley when I worked in restaurants.
Marc Laur
Marc Laur 2 сарын өмнө
You should try kale cooking with bacon!
Virtual Cool
Virtual Cool 2 сарын өмнө
Jim you are super funny. Thank you. Btw i love the taste of kale🤣. I disscovered it just recently and i crave it😛. If it really tastes bad maybe i should take a pregnancy test lol
atlocar
atlocar 3 сарын өмнө
Kale is gorgeous!
Timothy Tarzan Clarkson
Timothy Tarzan Clarkson 3 сарын өмнө
Humans are herbivores jack ass🥳Let’s have a beer, a whole night of new material,” So I met a guy that said humans are herbivores...”
Kahleigh
Kahleigh 3 сарын өмнө
That was the best subscribe i have ever had
Wallace Grommet
Wallace Grommet 3 сарын өмнө
I love vegetables. Kale is the exception. As tough as cellophane, with less flavor. But it is good as a garden hedge to block the wind
Mitchell Williams
Mitchell Williams 4 сарын өмнө
#ColbyCovington do know any soy boys that would hate this anti whole foods joke?🤣 maybe they even stutter and slobber/spit when day talk???? Dayz be umedumicated
Tim Wodzynski
Tim Wodzynski 4 сарын өмнө
Just kidding, you're a communists 🤣🤣🤣
Ray Bin
Ray Bin 4 сарын өмнө
I bought some kale - put in back seat of my car to take home - car quit running. Is there a connection?
RainbowDreams30
RainbowDreams30 5 сарын өмнө
Hemp milk, it’s made from rope 😂
David Atchison
David Atchison 5 сарын өмнө
Hey Buddy I like kale!
Paul Greenlee
Paul Greenlee 5 сарын өмнө
He is a multi millionaire, she better be hot
Geoff Hennessy
Geoff Hennessy 5 сарын өмнө
Organic Kale? Just stick your finger in a light socket!
Mopeo Shpingo
Mopeo Shpingo 6 сарын өмнө
The jokes in this comment section suck. You are all unhealthy lol.
Susie Bigelow
Susie Bigelow 6 сарын өмнө
I like to eat kale. But I laughed anyway!
Salsa Beatrice
Salsa Beatrice 6 сарын өмнө
I love your jokes Jim. I even went to one of your shows , It’s all good till the end when you add the suscribe video. If I hear one more time “hit the suscribe, do it” I am going to loose it. Maybe you can update the suscribe section
Squealer
Squealer 6 сарын өмнө
I love kale! Edit: Sorry, autocorrect: *loathe
Jennifer葛
Jennifer葛 7 сарын өмнө
Poor Jim. He clearly hasn't had the kale I make. If anybody's interested in my recipes, just ask!
Jonas Robson
Jonas Robson 7 сарын өмнө
my mom makes good kale but the only problem is it is now not a superfood, it's still healthy but it's as healthy as getting a serving of lays potato chips.
Brenda Conkling
Brenda Conkling 7 сарын өмнө
My eye doctor told me to eat kale, I said I don't like kale and he said no one does
Dean Fox
Dean Fox 7 сарын өмнө
That is some standup gold😘
Karen Vincent
Karen Vincent 7 сарын өмнө
I am sick to death of people trying to push kale and avocados on me. Thanks, but I don't like them so why would I eat them? I could eat dirt, too, but I wouldn't like it.
jimgaffigan
jimgaffigan Сарын өмнө
Thanks for your love and support... God bless you Karen 😍❤️
Gary Whitt
Gary Whitt 7 сарын өмнө
This comment section is hilarious....except for this one. kale
westbeach2011
westbeach2011 8 сарын өмнө
OMG that sad droopy dog voice at the very end cracked me up so hard!!
Iris Oscuris
Iris Oscuris 8 сарын өмнө
If you chop it up and mix it with milder greens, it’s good. Sprinkle some good fats on there. It’s great.
Daddy-0 Long Legs
Daddy-0 Long Legs 8 сарын өмнө
Until kale became the next big thing, the largest purchaser of kale in the United States was Pizza Hut, which used it for salad bar decorations, as someone mentioned below.
John Cloois
John Cloois 8 сарын өмнө
It's a gov. conspiracy!
NorthernBorn Girl
NorthernBorn Girl 8 сарын өмнө
I have taken a Vow to Never jump into any type of Trend. Food Trends especially.
Dilesh J
Dilesh J 8 сарын өмнө
Jim, I like your video in this pandemic time.
S L
S L 8 сарын өмнө
I like my kale oven baked with salt, chili, garlic and oil. In other words if it tastes like kale don't come near me.
S Pike
S Pike 8 сарын өмнө
TOO BAD YOU TURNED POLITICAL.. I THOUGHT YOU ARE FUNNY BUT NOW CAN'T SUPPORT YOU.
S Pike
S Pike 8 сарын өмнө
@S L I am pretty sure there's millions of us that won't support him. Actors..act, players play, and comedians are suppose to make people laugh. Go into politics if you want to politicize. Otherwise do what people pay you to do..entertain. Trump 2020!
S L
S L 8 сарын өмнө
Wow, how will he ever survive now? His career is doomed without you... please come back...
maddie reiff
maddie reiff 8 сарын өмнө
when I started just watch this as soon you said kale is in bug spray I looked in my pantry and I looked at the bug spray " ingredients " it actually had kale in it. No wonder bugs hate the bug spray 😂 also Jim Gaffigan I'm a big fan I watch all your stand-ups on Netflix ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Newsham
Newsham 8 сарын өмнө
Here in the UK, Kale's often given to cows, as it's cow food.
Michael Tom
Michael Tom 8 сарын өмнө
Gluten free vegan liberals
Laura Westenra
Laura Westenra 8 сарын өмнө
Kale is probably what kept Gaffigan's ancestors alive in the colder months so.... I mean we might owe our existence to it. Pro kale.
john beardshall
john beardshall 8 сарын өмнө
gluten free is the biggest scam yet,it's the protein in wheat so eating gluten free your eating non healthy processed food think on that hipsters
Team Youphoric - Health & Fitness Education
Team Youphoric - Health & Fitness Education 8 сарын өмнө
Steak is the new kale.
I Created An Account For This
I Created An Account For This 8 сарын өмнө
Darn Whole Foods
conservative patriot conservative patriot
conservative patriot conservative patriot 8 сарын өмнө
This entire food snob thing comes out of the hippie dippie 60s...did you know that sawdust makes good bread?....LOL!...CRAZY PEOPLE,,
Michael Gilbert
Michael Gilbert 8 сарын өмнө
Divorced...we don't want to live longer....bitches probably
Bobby Liang
Bobby Liang 8 сарын өмнө
I had kale chips before and it was THE most disgusting thing i've ever tasted. Like mowed grass compacted into a crispy chip.
Danny Bombaro
Danny Bombaro 9 сарын өмнө
Whole foods...in Minnesota... Thank you. And now my wife won't stop-stop laughing at my sarcasm.
Hridoy Govinda Das
Hridoy Govinda Das 9 сарын өмнө
2:15 Im a communist and i eat tons of gluten.
Southern Fried Media
Southern Fried Media 9 сарын өмнө
I have never been to a whole foods before
Believe in Yourself
Believe in Yourself 9 сарын өмнө
My 96 year old Mother cooks Kale. The whole house smells like dirty sweaty shoes. So, I diffuse really nice Essential Oils and she complains about the Citrus smell. Lol. KimChi smells awful too. How about dried out Seaweed? We pretend to be cool and eat it.
Jill Mchenry
Jill Mchenry 9 сарын өмнө
I just bought kale why i dont know
Rhonda Pohlman
Rhonda Pohlman 9 сарын өмнө
I dunk my pita in vodka 🙃
Michael
Michael 9 сарын өмнө
It’s all about OAT mill tho. Lol Accidentally got the gluten free last time and was good.
catharine orellana
catharine orellana 9 сарын өмнө
"Kale is a Super Food and it's Special Power is tasting bad." LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm vegan yet THIS cracked me up!!! Because it's TRUE!!!!)
jimgaffigan
jimgaffigan Сарын өмнө
Thanks lovely fan of mine ❤️
Hebrew Int'l. films
Hebrew Int'l. films 9 сарын өмнө
My stomach muscles are getting sore !!
Shady Man
Shady Man 9 сарын өмнө
Caterpillars ate my kale plant...
EJofLA
EJofLA 9 сарын өмнө
In the 80's, a popular restaurant chain used to serve food over kale leaves as garnish. Not liking to waste food, I would eat it. My friend would make fun of me. I remember asking him what this was and he said kale. Guess who got the last laugh. (Especially now that he's dead, sadly.)
AL13NM
AL13NM 9 сарын өмнө
Actually that was Amazing Jim, you should be Proud! You're Fuggin Hilarious!
GeminieCricket
GeminieCricket 9 сарын өмнө
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Faint Signals from Vega
Faint Signals from Vega 9 сарын өмнө
Give me milk that doesn't involve stealing male children from their (enslaved repeatedly impregnated) mother and then killing them. And it doesn't eventually kill you 😉😜😊
Faint Signals from Vega
Faint Signals from Vega 9 сарын өмнө
Best kale is black tuscan kale. I love it
MIM
MIM 9 сарын өмнө
Did you know there are Kale Toilet Seats? We have one. www.choicereplacementtoiletseatshop.co.uk/m/kale-toilet-seats
Peter Thomas
Peter Thomas 9 сарын өмнө
when was this filmed?
goldenlady97
goldenlady97 9 сарын өмнө
well in defense of kale...if you sauté it with a ton of garlic onion salt pepper and white wine it's not too bad LOL
JANEMARY VONGDARA
JANEMARY VONGDARA 9 сарын өмнө
Thank you for letting me know how kale tastes. Now I won't have to try it!! 🤢🌱
Rob G
Rob G 9 сарын өмнө
Hey buddy......my best friend is kale
Håkon Kavli
Håkon Kavli 9 сарын өмнө
Deep fried kale is delicious
Nick McConnell
Nick McConnell 9 сарын өмнө
That was amazing. I feel like we really connected Jim.
Rita Shustitzky
Rita Shustitzky 9 сарын өмнө
I agree, Kale should not be eaten.
27hogang Unknown
27hogang Unknown 9 сарын өмнө
Me and my family have been watching you for years and your my favorite comedian. So now you have a new subscriber!
Edward Price
Edward Price 9 сарын өмнө
Green Leaves Matter.
Rabbi Spidermann
Rabbi Spidermann 10 сарын өмнө
Anybody else find themselves immediately compelled to google his wife?
Tatiane Miracy
Tatiane Miracy 10 сарын өмнө
I have cancer and that is a fact, people do think you can get cured by eating kale 😂😂
marcie rudolph
marcie rudolph 10 сарын өмнө
I truly believe that when we all get to heaven we'll find out water causes cancer and lettuce was fattening all along.
Joe Ward
Joe Ward 10 сарын өмнө
I scrub my pots and pans with a 20 dollar sprig of kale.
Patrice Marie
Patrice Marie 10 сарын өмнө
Why does kale taste like nothing?? Put it in a smoothie .... with a stick of butter, and you get to say your LIVING!
jimgaffigan
jimgaffigan Сарын өмнө
Thanks lovely fan of mine ❤️
Sage McKeand
Sage McKeand 10 сарын өмнө
My own take on kale: 'Then The Devil said "I know! Let's convince them that kale is a food for humans", and all the demons ROARED with laughter.
Leo SigloXX
Leo SigloXX 10 сарын өмнө
Kale and kombucha, man. Kombucha is gross, but it's the new hipster thing to drink.
Jennifer Cornell
Jennifer Cornell 10 сарын өмнө
I made kale chips one time and it stunk up the whole house. I think a decomposing body would smell better. I threw away my good Tupperware bowl I had put it in.
jimgaffigan
jimgaffigan Сарын өмнө
I really appreciate your love and support ... God bless you Jennifer ❤️
Manwith Noname
Manwith Noname 10 сарын өмнө
I like Kale. Yeah he was my neighbor for 2 years, good kid.
AuberJean 68
AuberJean 68 10 сарын өмнө
"I'll put the rest on my Amazon Wishlist." Talk about a crazy concept! I can hear my dad (thank goodness he didn't have to experience ANY of the past few years!) saying, For what? You either need it or you don't, and we don't! LOL Jim, you're a true observer of this madness! What's next--recycled leaves?! Keep it coming, man!
Kana Awoyemi
Kana Awoyemi 10 сарын өмнө
"It's like a really bitter spinach with hair." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hope Enlow
Hope Enlow 10 сарын өмнө
isaac arthur
Becki Ireland
Becki Ireland 10 сарын өмнө
In the natural industry Whole Foods is called Whole Paycheck! 😂
mike styles
mike styles 10 сарын өмнө
Insects don’t eat kale. It tastes like dirt, so why are we kidding ourselves?
Taboolynn Twitch
Taboolynn Twitch 10 сарын өмнө
Kale🤮
Nicolle Herr
Nicolle Herr 10 сарын өмнө
Finally, someone speaks out about kale.
Best Fast Food Jokes Compilation | Jim Gaffigan
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