Funniest Exercise Jokes - Jim Gaffigan Standup

  Үзсэн тоо 737,769


7 сарын өмнө

Here are all my best and funniest exercise jokes from all my standup! I hope you enjoy, let me know below what your favorite one is!
:00 - Hard to Find Time
:26 - Work Out Clothes
:38 - Health Club Membership
1:01 - Personal trainers
2:24 - Work out Plans
3:01 - Motivation
4:15 - Exercise Equipment
8:25 - Myself
10:10 - Body Builders
13:24 - Swimming
14:19 - Hiking
17:12 - YMCA
19:06 - Hit On At Gym
19:37 - Harder To Motivate
20:14 - Marathon Runners
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Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.
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Stefania Spadafora
Stefania Spadafora 2 өдрийн өмнө
There's a gym near Buffalo in the same parking lot as a drive thru pizza place 😂 I always imagine the treadmills would be set up facing the pizza place!
Collin W
Collin W 4 өдрийн өмнө
Every idiot impression is a Brooklyn mafioso.
GAR mind DFKutulas
GAR mind DFKutulas 6 өдрийн өмнө
If Jim can't do it . It can't be done.
Kitty Kat
Kitty Kat 7 өдрийн өмнө
I had a teacher with such big muscles he couldn't touch his shoulders
Davett53 8 өдрийн өмнө
I was at a gym, doctor made me go. So I was running on the treadmill, and I have long hair in a ponytail. A middle aged lady got on the one next to me,...we smiled at each other. We were both running along, and all of a sudden she asked me if I could score her some WEED. We joked around afterwords,.....but she was serious,.....she passed me some cash, in a fake handshake. I came through for her,..... the next time at the gym, I dropped a baggy in her gym bag. I was cool with it,.....except every other week she wanted another bag. She had the money,.....but she was turning me into her DEALER. She claimed the other bags were for her adult sons,... and husband. Our state hadn't legalized it yet,...and I didn't want to be holding it, and get busted. This was in 1998.
James Alexander
James Alexander 9 өдрийн өмнө
Jim needs to do a compilation of all the times he does the New York goombah voice.
Redbeardian 10 өдрийн өмнө
Reminds me of the one time I had a gym membership briefly. I felt weird about driving there because it felt silly or sort of lazy. I started walking to the gym. After about 2 months I realized I was an idiot and just walked places for exercise. It was then I realized that going to the gym is just to stare at people in yoga pants or to be stared at. It's a pretty perverted business to run a gym. Essentially paying to be a voyeur or exhibitionist.
Micah Bartholomew
Micah Bartholomew 18 өдрийн өмнө
this video is so good ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ 😍😍👍👍
knox pro
knox pro 18 өдрийн өмнө
The only quality Jim Gaffigan passed down was his lack of melanin
Juan Doe
Juan Doe 21 өдрийн өмнө
I need a cheeseburger trainer myself!!
Garrett Gunn
Garrett Gunn 28 өдрийн өмнө
I'd like to be on the sidelines at marathon eating a bucket of chicken. My health food is onion rings.
Christina Castro
Christina Castro 29 өдрийн өмнө
Thank you for your “clean” sense of humor. From a fellow Catholic ❤️
Paris King-Alvey
Paris King-Alvey Сарын өмнө
Dude. I spit out my coffee at the marathon jokes. Marathon runner here. 👋 freaking so funny! 😂
Ankit Shai
Ankit Shai Сарын өмнө
Best clean comedian ever!
yvonne pandora meehan ypm
yvonne pandora meehan ypm Сарын өмнө
Jim's whale shark voice sounded just like Eeyore being sad, like Eeyore do! lol In my feed there is a commercial for the food that is sent to you by some "fresh" company. Different kind of meals you can pick from and they are sent "right to your door. Which is more convenient than if they were sent to your neighbors door!!! It's just funny that it's here in Jims show. Today they are sending their low cal fresh quesadillas with pico de gallo sauce! I wonder if MNdown videos/advertisers has their algorithms right???
Casper Corleone
Casper Corleone Сарын өмнө
Youzz a Damn Foo for this one Brohamster...!! Love ya woik !
cassandraq cassandraq
cassandraq cassandraq Сарын өмнө
Thanks for the laughs...miss going to comedy club...
Jake Ingersoll
Jake Ingersoll Сарын өмнө
I'll never understand what warrants an applause break lol, how does the crowd decide that?
L&E Plays
L&E Plays Сарын өмнө
i can listen to him all day!!!!
Janee Tate
Janee Tate Сарын өмнө
I am so thankful for Jim Gaffigan and his
dana cruz
dana cruz Сарын өмнө
I love love LOVE Jim Gaffigan!!!!!!!
jimgaffigan Сарын өмнө
Thank you so much Dana... I do love you too ❤️
Nadia Shireen Siddiqi
Nadia Shireen Siddiqi 2 сарын өмнө
Exhaustion headaches, men without a wife and kids are motivated to work out.
Random Headful
Random Headful 2 сарын өмнө
The part where he talks about not wanting to go to people’s parties reminded me of E.B. White who declined an invitation by saying, “I am unable to attend for secret reasons.”
Shelley Campbell
Shelley Campbell 2 сарын өмнө
Will you marry me on Mars? Lol
Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan 2 сарын өмнө
I think my wife has a house there ha
Motto com
Motto com 2 сарын өмнө
Can you do a stand-up sitting down?
francobina 2 сарын өмнө
"it's not working whales."
B. Scott Farthingsworth
B. Scott Farthingsworth 2 сарын өмнө
I'm sorry, did you say Meow?
Tim Thaloff
Tim Thaloff 2 сарын өмнө
Clearly, people who don't like to laugh down voted this. We can only pray for their awoke-ening.
Jeff Harper
Jeff Harper 2 сарын өмнө
My fav line: "I saw a gentleman in his 90's on the elliptical the other day and made me hope I die in my 70's."
identity Europa
identity Europa 2 сарын өмнө
Too bad he jokes more about exercise then doing it.
Brooke Cundiff
Brooke Cundiff 2 сарын өмнө
Mr. universe is Steven’s dad only Steven universe fans will understand
CriticalListener 2 сарын өмнө
"You can do it, you can do it! C'mon, I'm goin' to brunch."
Cindy Miller
Cindy Miller 2 сарын өмнө
“Sharon Stone machine” COMEDY GOLD!
Rk Jackson
Rk Jackson 2 сарын өмнө
ROFLMAO - Thank you so much for all the videos! On the normal, I have clinical depression, and this pandemic made it so much worse. So, upped meds, online therapy...than boom JIM GAFFIGAN - uploading material that makes me laugh, smile, feel good for the day!!!! During Trump Presidency - You really helped keep me sane! Thank you! You are GORGEOUS and YUMMY!
Matthew Ghent
Matthew Ghent 2 сарын өмнө
It's almost not worth thinking about
Nadia Shireen Siddiqi
Nadia Shireen Siddiqi 2 сарын өмнө
Why would Jim hide from the Nazis; he’s their blue eyed blonde ideal. I think I’ll make mutton chops in the microwave with yogurt and besan; we have no gas.
Jimmy Crack Corn
Jimmy Crack Corn 3 сарын өмнө
Clean comedy takes more talent. Thanks Jim
Kristy Moore
Kristy Moore 3 сарын өмнө
Nana Hana
jimgaffigan Сарын өмнө
Thank you so much lovely fan 😘
Maenad 3 сарын өмнө
My fitness goal is to be able plank for this entire compilation lol
Sascha Rouillon
Sascha Rouillon 3 сарын өмнө
Only Jim could take the piss out of any and all groups/types and guaranteed have them laughing at themselves😂
Nicole Barnett
Nicole Barnett 3 сарын өмнө
One of my friends was going to go to an exercise class and the woman told her to wear loose fitting clothes. The silence when my friend stared at her was priceless right before she told the woman if she had loose fitting clothes she wouldn't be paying to exercise. 😆 It was 15 yrs ago and I still laugh about it.
FactsOver Fiction
FactsOver Fiction Сарын өмнө
@jimgaffigan this is an imposter ... check his channel and report to MNdown.
jimgaffigan Сарын өмнө
@Sister Su You're welcome, you can also drop your email address, so that I can easily reach out to you, I'll soon be off from here for sometime, i got whole lot of things to fix❣️
Sister Su
Sister Su Сарын өмнө
@jimgaffigan Just a quick note to say , I cherish the day I discovered you comedy through a DVD one day. I'd been badly abused by a gang of men who were cray, But what I saw made me guffaw and was a great help to healing the PTSD acquired from those guys who in their eyes felt they were above the law. Thank you for the set that I will not soon forget, Where your comedy captured my heart and helped me gain a restart. Which show? Oh you know the one that goes "I just recently became a parent- pause for applause - for the ___ time -- oh not so much applause now? Holy cow! Your comedy worked like magic to help erase the memories that were so tragic. How you cherished your wife and your family, despite life ups and downs was amazing to see. Thank you - for being "YOUNiQUELY "YOU!
jimgaffigan Сарын өмнө
Thank you ❤️
Sister Su
Sister Su 2 сарын өмнө
Jindrich Stercl
Jindrich Stercl 3 сарын өмнө
Those jokes work but only because 90% of his audience all share the assumption that excercise is for weirdoes. And that is sad :/
Jon Rettich
Jon Rettich 3 сарын өмнө
Delightful. I make daily efforts to maintain my black belt in couch potato.
Lloyd Sumpter
Lloyd Sumpter 3 сарын өмнө
Our exercise facility was on the 2nd floor. I loved to watch the people take the elevator to the stair-climber.
ReivasMC 3 сарын өмнө
christ this guy is hella funny but at the same time it's like looking at all the personality defects a human can have lazy gluton with no self control, motivation and no plans for a better life. Litteraly the opposite of what a person should be...
Wendy Gardiner
Wendy Gardiner 3 сарын өмнө
Too funny
jimgaffigan Сарын өмнө
Oh thanks you so much lovely fan ❤️
Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan 2 сарын өмнө
Thank you for the support
chill6789 3 сарын өмнө
Ask the bodybuilder do you live hear do you eat the weights 😂😂😂 hilarious
chill6789 3 сарын өмнө
The kinda fat personal trainer What's your favorite machine :Vending machine 😂😂 Do you want to go half on a snickers bar 😂
James Fancy
James Fancy 3 сарын өмнө
5:51 I love this voice/persona
Kyle Mcgill
Kyle Mcgill 3 сарын өмнө
*Mt. Rushmore (no order)* *-PATRICE* *-GAFFIGAN* *-GIRALDO* *-REGAN*
chill6789 3 сарын өмнө
IMO Pryor Earthquake Gaffigan
Luken U. See
Luken U. See 3 сарын өмнө
"I'm m just here so I won't eat for an hour!"
Gwynneve Ireland
Gwynneve Ireland 3 сарын өмнө
There are 217 thumbs Down. I can't believe that many people have no sense of humor. Poor things.
Cannibal Hippies Airsoft Tribe
Cannibal Hippies Airsoft Tribe 3 сарын өмнө
The whale-part was frikkin funnylicious! :)
100samanthamarie 3 сарын өмнө
When my boyfriend worked at Bianchi Theaters up in Paramount he was working a shift when he saw Jim in the theater doing a movie. I watched the movie but I forgot the name. I think it was an indie movie. Must’ve been around 2013 or 2014. Because I started dating my bf in 2013. I remember wishing I were there that day because I loved Jim. He’s one of the best!!!!
Bon 3 сарын өмнө
The funniest ever!! Lol
Avila Cesar
Avila Cesar 4 сарын өмнө
The Awakening Heard
The Awakening Heard 4 сарын өмнө
My favorite machine is the vending machine. lmao
Peg F.
Peg F. 4 сарын өмнө
I only go in my gym when I need a bathroom 😆
John Lukowski
John Lukowski 4 сарын өмнө
THANK YOU for entertaining us during this crisis !!!
Covid Christmas 2020
Covid Christmas 2020 4 сарын өмнө
"Gaffigan is cooking" Hear how I used that phrase in my song. "Santa Tize"
Jacked Kerouac
Jacked Kerouac 4 сарын өмнө
"I don't want to get caught up in that beauty culture" LOLOLOL
aj200415 4 сарын өмнө
Damn, Jim is turning into the rest of them...Piling as many ads as he can in, making it not fun to every 2-3 minutes: Ads. Hell regular Cable doesn’t have ads that close together, at least you get 5-8 minutes of the actual show before ads......
Artiom Mikhailov
Artiom Mikhailov 4 сарын өмнө
He is so funny. Wow. To me he is one of the best entertaining comedians ever
nvstewart 4 сарын өмнө
Actually, it is rather confusing, you would EXPECT Mr Universe to be the highest tier in bodybuilding, but it is actually Mr Olympia.
B uppy
B uppy 4 сарын өмнө
They are just kicking them out 'trying to help' means they are trying to put a nice PR spin on it... That said, the city should have been trying to disperse and place these people long ago instead of letting them damage things. Politicians and bureaucrats are pocketing the money...
Annie Jacobs
Annie Jacobs 4 сарын өмнө
❤😂🤣😂🤣❤ Thank you!!! Jim Gaffigan = cure for depression! Who needs Prozac when you can just put on a Jim Gaffigan video?
Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan 2 сарын өмнө
@Annie Jacobs great fans like you are the reason I've attained such greatness, I really appreciate
Annie Jacobs
Annie Jacobs 2 сарын өмнө
@Jim Gaffigan I am such a fan! 🤩😍 your jewish neighbor from brooklyn. ❤❤❤
Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan 2 сарын өмнө
Thank you for your love and support
Tiisetso Thabana
Tiisetso Thabana 4 сарын өмнө
j en
j en 4 сарын өмнө
CoffinSupply 4 сарын өмнө
Gym Gaffigan
Elvin Hoover
Elvin Hoover 4 сарын өмнө
🐕 show need paper to clean but.clean like a cat. People lot better than any animal.because people have sex.anami breeding so what difference .why human can have sex every 10 can't do that with same female like human thank you
Adam Lacy
Adam Lacy 4 сарын өмнө
"You could also pay to throw your money in the garbage... for a small fee" might be one of the most prolific jokes I've ever heard.
Adam Lacy
Adam Lacy 4 сарын өмнө
I love Chappelle, Hart, Haddish and other Black comedians, but Jim Gaffigan is... the... GREATEST!
R3D-1 Truth
R3D-1 Truth 5 сарын өмнө
This is THE BEST Ab workout video set I’ve ever seen! I think I’ve busted my gut to a six pack in just 5hrs of videos- Thanks JG! Cheers
Limpod 23
Limpod 23 5 сарын өмнө
Lol I'm a dedicated runner, the running jokes are halarius.
Rachel Ring
Rachel Ring 5 сарын өмнө
robert smith
robert smith 5 сарын өмнө
Hey Jim thanks for being one of the funniest ever
RapTzZ Stamatescu
RapTzZ Stamatescu 5 сарын өмнө
I am just reading Jim Gaffigan video titles and laughing, short laughs then smile. 😁😁 Edit: i misspelled Gaffigan sry 😁😁👍
Johann Beatrice
Johann Beatrice 5 сарын өмнө
It's Mr. Olympia. There is or was a Ms. Universe, but not a Mr.
Lynn Farley for #45
Lynn Farley for #45 5 сарын өмнө
Soooooo true! He is describing me to perfection!
Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan 2 сарын өмнө
Thank you for the love
Ryan Behr
Ryan Behr 5 сарын өмнө
i laugh like hell during every one
ishady ishady
ishady ishady 5 сарын өмнө
CSI Marathon better than NYC Marathon 😂
fun_paparazzi 5 сарын өмнө
“These brownies are making me thirsty!” Much more agony in Jim’s remark than in George Costanza’s, about pretzels
Five Family
Five Family 12 өдрийн өмнө
Kimberly Jones
Kimberly Jones 5 сарын өмнө
Kathy Powers
Kathy Powers 5 сарын өмнө
Jim cracks me up.
Kathy Powers
Kathy Powers 5 сарын өмнө
Jim makes me laugh always!!!!!!!
Sarah Warnez
Sarah Warnez 5 сарын өмнө
I’m glad to have the blessing of this channel Jim ur so funny
Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan 2 сарын өмнө
Thank you for the love and support
Jeremy Schwab
Jeremy Schwab 5 сарын өмнө
This made me laugh so much I almost pooped
Bill Young
Bill Young 5 сарын өмнө
181 people are serious gym rats
linshanhsiang 5 сарын өмнө
"Everything you own in a box to your left" means what???
Vivian Surname
Vivian Surname 5 сарын өмнө
It's a référence to the Beyoncé song "Irreplaceable". That means pack up and go.
Josue 5 сарын өмнө
Jim, I need to go to sleep. Why are u showing in my video list. Now I have to watch it.
Joan Littlefield
Joan Littlefield Сарын өмнө
Am trying to go to sleep and can’t stop
Lion Bear
Lion Bear 6 сарын өмнө
My brother eats he is eating 500lbs
Doris Edwards
Doris Edwards 6 сарын өмнө
Thank God for Jim Gaffigan!
Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan 2 сарын өмнө
I appreciate the love.
Amy R.
Amy R. 6 сарын өмнө
Pretty much the only time I laugh these days.Hashtag grateful for Jim
Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan 2 сарын өмнө
Thank you for the support Amy.
Clark Kent
Clark Kent 6 сарын өмнө
They say you live an extra minute for every minute you spend climbing stairs. The only thing wrong with that is you're spending all your extra minutes of life climbing stairs.
catharine orellana
catharine orellana 4 сарын өмнө
LOL! Climbing stairs WHILE eating kale! Now THAT would be a life not worth living!
Savage O
Savage O 6 сарын өмнө
I listen to Jim every morning and my day just gets better.
Maenad 3 сарын өмнө
Jim Gaffigan is like an additional antidepressant for me lol
DeathDragon1730 6 сарын өмнө
That northwest joke is accurate.
Aaron Robinson
Aaron Robinson 6 сарын өмнө
I'm glad Jim himself is doing these super cuts so he can get the residuals off the advertising instead of some other random internet person.
Suzanne Straughan
Suzanne Straughan 6 сарын өмнө
Nicole Laliberte
Nicole Laliberte 6 сарын өмнө
I Understand completely I joined a 24 hour gym for a year and never had time to go... I maybe went a total of 20 times. So sad 😔 just didn't feel like it most of the time lol
M She
M She 6 сарын өмнө
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