Funniest Dessert Stand Up Jokes | Jim Gaffigan

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jimgaffigan

6 сарын өмнө

Here is a compilation of all my funniest dessert jokes I've told over my career! Let me know below what compilation you want to see next!
PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon.
:00 - Sharing Dessert
:34 - Excuses
1:28 - Cake = Gluttony
1:56 - Cake vs. Muffins
2:40 - Cake For Breakfast
3:19 - Birthday Dessert
4:09 - Pie vs. Cake
4:46 - Types Of Cake
6:18 - Chinese Dessert
8:32 - Jell-O
9:04 - Churros con Chocolate
9:46 - Ice Cream is For Kids
13:25 - Just Desserts
BEST of / FUNNIEST COMPILATION
Animals bit.ly/AnimalsCompilation
Fast Food bit.ly/FastFoodCompilation
Jesus bit.ly/JesusComp
Clothing bit.ly/JGClothingCompilation
Donuts bit.ly/JGDonuts
Stores bit.ly/JGStores
Catholic bit.ly/JGCatholic
HEALTHY & HAPPY Gardening
INTRO bit.ly/HappyandHealthy1
CORN bit.ly/HappyandHealthyCorn
THE PALE TOURIST
Asian American (Full Set) bit.ly/JGAsianAmerican
Florida Man (Full Set) bit.ly/JGFloridaMan
Ontario vs Quebec bit.ly/JGOntario
Superstitions bit.ly/JGSuperstition
QUALITY TIME
Marathons bit.ly/JGMarathons
Horses bit.ly/JGHorses
Appendix bit.ly/JGAppendix
Museums bit.ly/JGMuseum
Lying bit.ly/JGLying
Dog Birthdays bit.ly/JGDogBirthday
Cold Weather bit.ly/JGColdWeather
NOBLE APE
My Wife's Brain Tumor bit.ly/JGBrainTumor
Massages bit.ly/JGMassage
Pope bit.ly/JGPope
My Least Favorite Doctor bit.ly/JGWorstDoctor
UK vs US bit.ly/JGUSAvCanada
CINCO
Morning Person bit.ly/JGMorning
Steak is Manly bit.ly/JGSteak
Hiking bit.ly/JGHiking
Easier to be a Guy bit.ly/JGBeaGuy
Big Family bit.ly/JGBigFamily
OBSESSED
Weddings bit.ly/JGWeddingsyay
Victoria's Secret bit.ly/JGSecret
Seafood bit.ly/JGSeafood
Bath vs Shower bit.ly/JGBathvShower
Can't Stop Eating bit.ly/JGstopeating
MR. UNIVERSE
Vitamins bit.ly/JGVitamins
Whales bit.ly/JGWhales
Fitness Goals bit.ly/JGFitnessGoals
Home Birth bit.ly/JGHomebirth
Big Family bit.ly/3a6HW0L
Disney bit.ly/JGDisney
KING BABY
Camping bit.ly/JGCamping
Bacon bit.ly/JGBacon
Waffle House bit.ly/JGWaffleHouse
BEYOND THE PALE
Hot Pockets bit.ly/JGHotPocket
I'm Korean bit.ly/JGKorean
Doing Nothing bit.ly/JGDoingNothing
Out To Dinner bit.ly/JGOutToDinner
Cake bit.ly/JGCakes
Vegetarian bit.ly/JGVegetarian
SUPER OLD
Manatee bit.ly/JGManatee
Glasses bit.ly/JGGLasses
MERCH Proceeds donated to ThelmagineSociety.org tinyurl.com/y5fwmpb2
LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast bit.ly/JGToast
Burger bit.ly/JGBurger
Pork bit.ly/JGPork
Hotdog & Eggs bit.ly/JGHotDogs
Pizza bit.ly/JGPizzaLGC
Pasta bit.ly/JGPasta
Hot Dog Fest bit.ly/JGHotDogFest
Meatball Parm bit.ly/JGMeatball
Peas & Corn bit.ly/JGPeasandCorn
Mikey Takes Over bit.ly/JGMikey
Oatmeal Soup bit.ly/JGOatmeal
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlates
Chicken Fillet bit.ly/JGChickenFilet
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKansasCBBQ
Bacon Wrapped Steaks bit.ly/JGBaconWrapped
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
Daddy Dog bit.ly/JGDaddyDog
Hot Pocket bit.ly/JGMPHotPocket
Spaghettios bit.ly/JGSPaghettios
Liverwurst bit.ly/JGLiverwust
Twinkies bit.ly/JGTwinkies
Fluff bit.ly/JGFluff
Vegemite bit.ly/JGVegimite
Garden Veggies mndown.info/fast/video/nYKpaG1nx5ePjJs
My Kids React my 1st Stand Up TV Spot mndown.info/fast/video/rI-oZHyWsph_q58
My Kids React my 1st 1/2 hr Special mndown.info/fast/video/p6fNp66EzItygXA
DINNER WITH THE GAFFIGANS nightly 6pm E. Watch past episodes click JOIN & become MEMBER. Fee (99 cents) donated to TheImagineSociety.org.
JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food)
St.Louis Pizza bit.ly/JimEatsTheWorld
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKCBBQ
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlate
Polish Boy bit.ly/JGPolishboy
Spain bit.ly/JGSpainJETW
Colombia bit.ly/JGColombia
Paella bit.ly/JGPaella
PALE FORCE w/ Conan - mndown.info/fast/video/mn_FqaKespiHcGw
CORONAVIRUS LIFE (Try not to laugh+ CBS SUNDAY)
Welcome to Quarantine mndown.info/fast/video/sKCbd3mcxJqKno0
My Kids Ask Covid-19 mndown.info/fast/video/nnrKdZyL04mlh4U
Pandemic CBS Sunday Morning Mega Compilation mndown.info/fast/video/tY6samlkwI-Tg2g
Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.
TEXT JIM 646-980-6600

Сэтгэгдлүүд
T Moon
T Moon 16 өдрийн өмнө
15:01
glamourchick21
glamourchick21 18 өдрийн өмнө
I've got a piece of cake waiting for me for dessert. Now if only I could summon the energy to get off the couch. Seriously, the fire is going and I am covered in blankets. I am REALLY comfortable...
Christina E
Christina E Сарын өмнө
"they're like muffin-vitamins" 👏😅😂👏
treedweezle
treedweezle Сарын өмнө
You slay me, man 👨 I don’t need meditation tapes at night... I just watch and laugh until I hit the snooze button that summons me to “werk” As many have stated, and rightly so, you are an essential worker... 🤓
P S
P S 2 сарын өмнө
At work they always cut up and distribute the cake. I look around and dump it in the trash can.
Tim Wodzynski
Tim Wodzynski 2 сарын өмнө
Since I have moved to Guatemala I have been introduced to tres leches (three types of milk) and it is a delicious cake!!!!
Tim Wodzynski
Tim Wodzynski 2 сарын өмнө
A muffin is a bald cupcake hahahahahaha excellent 🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏🧁
earle Felkins
earle Felkins 2 сарын өмнө
If it weren't for him I for one would have gone nuts by now. Thanks Jim.
shane watts
shane watts 3 сарын өмнө
I can't tell if I'm stoned or just useless. I just had desert. And now I want more. It's your fault Jim. Or it's the weed. Kids... Dont smoke weed. Finnish your dinner so you can have ice cream. That's what you need. Its good for you.
Elizabeth Shaw
Elizabeth Shaw 3 сарын өмнө
I hide the good stuff until the kids go home! :-)
James Smith
James Smith 3 сарын өмнө
I pity anyone who sits down to have a pint of ice cream. That's UNACCEPTABLE. I can only sit with ice cream if its a 1.5 quart. A pint ? That's my first spoonful.
Erica Ferguson
Erica Ferguson 3 сарын өмнө
I hate sharing a dessert! Get you’re own dammit. That’s why I just order one of each on the menu... hahah now let’s eat dessert. I hate spelling dessert I’m always scared I spelled it wrong... desert. I love desert hahaha
Nancy Mueller
Nancy Mueller 3 сарын өмнө
Thanks for the laughs.
Laura Bragg
Laura Bragg 4 сарын өмнө
Muffin vitamins_ love it Jim
Uncle John
Uncle John 4 сарын өмнө
8:15 he sounded exactly like the grinch
My YouTube account got suspended
My YouTube account got suspended 5 сарын өмнө
Jim Gaffigan audiobook time let's go
Liz Que
Liz Que 6 сарын өмнө
My boyfriend does not like hot or warm desserts. Everything must be cold including normally room temperature sweets like cookies. He thinks it’s disgusting when ice cream melts on hot apple pie.
Buck Calkins
Buck Calkins 6 сарын өмнө
I also like pie more than cake
William H. Baird
William H. Baird 6 сарын өмнө
"Hope it's Chocolate for me!" lol
GeminieCricket
GeminieCricket 6 сарын өмнө
Pumpkin, Cherry, Mince,Chocolate, Butterscotch, Lemon, Key Lime, Boysenberry, Apple, Pineapple, Pecan,Peach,Peanut Butter,Sweet Potato,Coconut Cream,Strawberry, Blueberry, Banana Cream, Custard,Turtle,Rhubarb, are some of my favorites......PIE wins.
Weretaco TM
Weretaco TM 6 сарын өмнө
Gotta disagree about cake vs pie lol, pie is the best.
Avery Joycelyn Barakuda Block
Avery Joycelyn Barakuda Block 6 сарын өмнө
Loved the dessert voice- overs. Just lovely writing. Thank you ~
licks n kicks
licks n kicks 6 сарын өмнө
I love this guy!! I just found out about him a couple of weeks ago. I have been binge watching Jim videos. He’s hysterical! CANADA 🇨🇦
Solomon Hofius
Solomon Hofius 6 сарын өмнө
' I just have a bit of a sweet tooth" best comedy ever!!
Destiny Palmist
Destiny Palmist 6 сарын өмнө
I want to know what kind of person gives this a thumbs down? And there’s so many of them?
Destiny Palmist
Destiny Palmist 6 сарын өмнө
@Kit Coffey oh! I get it now..🙄
Kit Coffey
Kit Coffey 6 сарын өмнө
There are tons of anorexics triggered
GeminieCricket
GeminieCricket 6 сарын өмнө
TROLLS ARE EVERYWHERE
Aleksandar Radovanovic
Aleksandar Radovanovic 6 сарын өмнө
Philip Seymor Hoffman is still alive, it seems 😇
TSimo113
TSimo113 6 сарын өмнө
Since you've decided to delve into politics, I would LOVE to hear your views about a staunch catholic being nominated to the supreme court.. I suspect since you are always talking about how you and wife/family are catholic, the both of you must be beaming with pride, huh? I can't wait to see her being sworn in!
chefboyrdjr
chefboyrdjr 6 сарын өмнө
Jim's gonna have to do another special soon. These daily small compilations are starting to overlap.
Gina Tucci
Gina Tucci 6 сарын өмнө
Yeah, this covid season of lies should have manifested quite an arsenal of jokes!
Robert Schwartz
Robert Schwartz 6 сарын өмнө
I'm pretty sure that the reason why people eat fruit cake is that it's been soaked in brandy every day for a year. That destroys that nasty fruit flavor.
Candyce Monroe
Candyce Monroe 6 сарын өмнө
A muffin is a bald cake. 🎂
Autumn Marr
Autumn Marr 6 сарын өмнө
I want more cake now. Chip chop chip!
patricia pantano
patricia pantano 6 сарын өмнө
“Your ordering it for your tooth” 😆😆
Valerie P
Valerie P 6 сарын өмнө
Vote for Jim! pca.eonline.com/pop-culture/the-comedy-act-of-2020
cyoungledesma
cyoungledesma 6 сарын өмнө
I can, in fact, eat a whole pizza! Remember George Carlin when he was talking about leftovers? He would say, “it could be meat, it could be cake, it could be meat-cake!”
Kit Coffey
Kit Coffey 6 сарын өмнө
We can all eat a whole pizza. We're Americans.
Herne Webber
Herne Webber 6 сарын өмнө
What is this, "leftovers" you mention?
Its Me Xenn
Its Me Xenn 6 сарын өмнө
I'm probably the only Gen-Z kid that watches these...
Aina Madelene
Aina Madelene 6 сарын өмнө
I can't be the only one that actually DON'T like dessert very much? 👀🤣 Or sweets...
Joseph York
Joseph York 6 сарын өмнө
German Chocolate cake was worst than any hangover. Was barely able to call in sick.
sereyna scott
sereyna scott 6 сарын өмнө
maybe only by L from now on .. loll? ! .. & yeah only Some* know what i'm saying g G *
Wyndia Highwind
Wyndia Highwind 6 сарын өмнө
Pudding is great at ANY angle.
Mrs. Mac
Mrs. Mac 6 сарын өмнө
Thanks Jim for the daily (much needed) laugh! Even though I’ve heard you do most of these jokes, I still laugh!
Matt Kyle
Matt Kyle 6 сарын өмнө
I read that desserts ruin your appetite, so, eat dessert first and ruin your appetite and lose weight by eating less on your diet! hee hee hee
shulamithbond
shulamithbond 6 сарын өмнө
"All desserts are either ice cream or cake." So how does pudding fall into that matrix?
Herne Webber
Herne Webber 6 сарын өмнө
@Dread Man Bones and hooves are in gelatin, not pudding. Just sayin'. I'm Vegan, so I know. P.S., Hunt's Juicy Jells are agar, not gelatin.
shulamithbond
shulamithbond 6 сарын өмнө
I was kind of hoping he was going to talk about the kind of Chinese dessert that's like... A doughnut filled with beans. I like it, but I want to hear his reaction.
Herne Webber
Herne Webber 6 сарын өмнө
He does that in another video. Maybe, "Beyind the Pale." Look for his Korean Jokes video from this week.
Barbara Page
Barbara Page 6 сарын өмнө
Pie is better than cake.
Herne Webber
Herne Webber 2 сарын өмнө
@Vincent Law I'm just messin'. I love both pecan and sweet potato pie. My best actually combines them. I'd weigh a ton if I ate all of what just tasted good to me. Thanks the gods I have some self control. I tend to bitch about fattening foods, only because they killed my dad and first husband. But you're all good. Please, don't mind me, or take me to heart.
Vincent Law
Vincent Law 2 сарын өмнө
@Herne Webber dessert pie is good
Herne Webber
Herne Webber 6 сарын өмнө
Pie is jam in a piece of flattened bread. Meh. I make jam. I bake bread. I've baked cakes and pies. Pies are where we throw away the kitchen scraps, when we don't have a kitchen rabbit, or hogs to slop, before they're only good for composting.
cyoungledesma
cyoungledesma 6 сарын өмнө
Barbara Page especially homemade pie!!!
Eddy_D
Eddy_D 6 сарын өмнө
Wait a minute... M&M's are a dessert? ... and I have been using them wrong all this time. huh.
cyoungledesma
cyoungledesma 6 сарын өмнө
Eddy_D I thought m&Ms were a snack!!!
Kimberly Prien
Kimberly Prien 6 сарын өмнө
Listening to Jim talk about dessert as I eat McDonald's. I think I won the day!
Manbearpig
Manbearpig 6 сарын өмнө
You know you're fat when you have 15:00 minutes of jokes about desserts. And these are just the funniest ones. (disclaimer, love your comedy no offense calling you fat bla bla bla im also fat bla bla bla)
Jennifer Steward
Jennifer Steward 6 сарын өмнө
Dessert for breakfast and dinner with food for lunch today and tomorrow 🥞🎂🍪🍨🤣🤣🤣😂
T N
T N 6 сарын өмнө
Hey!! Don't be hatin' on fruitcake! They don't all suck! 🤣
Irene Max
Irene Max 6 сарын өмнө
T N Yeah, really. It’s true that some terrible bakers impose their mistakes on family and friends, but a well made fruitcake is the best, and age improves it if alcohol has been added.
Herne Webber
Herne Webber 6 сарын өмнө
Because booze soaking improves anything. I have only had one I liked, and it was soaked in booze, Jim Beam I think.
Patricia Jaramillo
Patricia Jaramillo 6 сарын өмнө
So good to laugh. Very creative on how funny you make every day items. Great job. Thanks for sharing.
Trevor's Animations
Trevor's Animations 6 сарын өмнө
I love your channel mr. Gaffigan I think its so funny thanks for uploading 🤣
Marilyn N
Marilyn N 6 сарын өмнө
I got Cold Stone ice cream for the first time. I threw away the top as soon as I had one taste. I haven't stopped thinking about it since. So the end spoke to me. Lol
cyoungledesma
cyoungledesma 6 сарын өмнө
Marilyn N aaah the obsession...thx cold stone creamery!
Jose Ordonez
Jose Ordonez 6 сарын өмнө
It's like freaking poetry.
Cynthia Tingler
Cynthia Tingler 6 сарын өмнө
Life is short. Eat dessert first.
New Message
New Message 6 сарын өмнө
"This guy talks a lot about cake..." Well... look at him.
Teppid Eisen Manalili
Teppid Eisen Manalili 6 сарын өмнө
10th
Brighton Evans
Brighton Evans 6 сарын өмнө
SO FUNNY
Dakkson
Dakkson 6 сарын өмнө
sup peeps....sup jim
Sally Stege
Sally Stege 6 сарын өмнө
Pies are healthy espec with fruit. I lost weight in boot camp having only pie at dinner.
Sally Stege
Sally Stege 6 сарын өмнө
and not "desert" jokes. Betting you have those too. And more horse jokes!!!
Macy Moellering
Macy Moellering 6 сарын өмнө
I love you vids
Drew The Unspoken
Drew The Unspoken 6 сарын өмнө
I bet this is going to be a long clip. Lot's of desert jokes!
Drew The Unspoken
Drew The Unspoken 7 өдрийн өмнө
I don't think the two are mutually exclusive.
Janis Bentzen
Janis Bentzen 7 өдрийн өмнө
I noticed twice as much time on desserts than on Heaven.
Kim simpson-rosenfield
Kim simpson-rosenfield 6 сарын өмнө
TGIF👍
Obi Juan
Obi Juan 6 сарын өмнө
Who does he think he is ... Trump? We have to wait two days for him to appear? Okay, so did you know that Candy Corn is a confectionally modified food? Tom had 200 candy bars, he ate 175 of them what does Tom have left? Diabetes. That’s all folks have a nice day.
bfkennedy
bfkennedy 6 сарын өмнө
Be like Jim! Eat dessert first! 🍮 🍨 🧁😂
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