Funniest Breakfast Jokes | Jim Gaffigan Stand up

Үзсэн тоо 87,042

6 сарын өмнө

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. That's why you should only eat sugar and watch this compilation while you lay in bed.
PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon.
:00 - Muffins
:43 - Pancakes
1:22 - Breakfast In Bed
1:53 - Bacon
6:44 - Waffles
7:02 - Fish For Breakfast
7:16 - Churros Con Chocolate
7:58 - Asian Breakfast
8:34 - Everything Bagel
BEST of / FUNNIEST COMPILATION
Animals bit.ly/AnimalsCompilation
Fast Food bit.ly/FastFoodCompilation
Jesus bit.ly/JesusComp
Clothing bit.ly/JGClothingCompilation
Donuts bit.ly/JGDonuts
Stores bit.ly/JGStores
Catholic bit.ly/JGCatholic
Drinking mndown.info/fast/video/sJ6yY4aQyZCLf4U
Disney mndown.info/fast/video/3GLYl3eFuY5uhok
Japan mndown.info/fast/video/sXy4fot_rqKRhoE
Fish mndown.info/fast/video/l6PUf3WguKOxiIk
HEALTHY & HAPPY Gardening
INTRO bit.ly/HappyandHealthy1
CORN bit.ly/HappyandHealthyCorn
THE PALE TOURIST
Asian American (Full Set) bit.ly/JGAsianAmerican
Florida Man (Full Set) bit.ly/JGFloridaMan
Ontario vs Quebec bit.ly/JGOntario
Superstitions bit.ly/JGSuperstition
Canadian Map bit.ly/JGCanadaMap
Tapas bit.ly/JGTapas
Moose bit.ly/JGMoose
Tourists bit.ly/JGTourist
QUALITY TIME
Marathons bit.ly/JGMarathons
Horses bit.ly/JGHorses
Appendix bit.ly/JGAppendix
Museums bit.ly/JGMuseum
NOBLE APE
My Wife's Brain Tumor bit.ly/JGBrainTumor
Massages bit.ly/JGMassage
Pope bit.ly/JGPope
CINCO
Morning Person bit.ly/JGMorning
Steak is Manly bit.ly/JGSteak
Hiking bit.ly/JGHiking
Idiot Abroad bit.ly/JGIdiotAbroad
Easier to be a Guy bit.ly/JGBeaGuy
Big Family bit.ly/JGBigFamily
OBSESSED
Weddings bit.ly/JGWeddingsyay
Victoria's Secret bit.ly/JGSecret
Seafood bit.ly/JGSeafood
Bath vs Shower bit.ly/JGBathvShower
Can't Stop Eating bit.ly/JGstopeating
MR. UNIVERSE
Vitamins bit.ly/JGVitamins
Whales bit.ly/JGWhales
Fitness Goals bit.ly/JGFitnessGoals
Home Birth bit.ly/JGHomebirth
Big Family bit.ly/3a6HW0L
Disney bit.ly/JGDisney
KING BABY
Camping bit.ly/JGCamping
Bacon bit.ly/JGBacon
Waffle House bit.ly/JGWaffleHouse
BEYOND THE PALE
Hot Pockets bit.ly/JGHotPocket
I'm Korean bit.ly/JGKorean
Doing Nothing bit.ly/JGDoingNothing
Out To Dinner bit.ly/JGOutToDinner
Cake bit.ly/JGCakes
Vegetarian bit.ly/JGVegetarian
SUPER OLD
Manatee bit.ly/JGManatee
Glasses bit.ly/JGGLasses
MERCH Proceeds donated to ThelmagineSociety.org tinyurl.com/y5fwmpb2
LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast bit.ly/JGToast
Burger bit.ly/JGBurger
Pork bit.ly/JGPork
Hotdog & Eggs bit.ly/JGHotDogs
Pizza bit.ly/JGPizzaLGC
Pasta bit.ly/JGPasta
Hot Dog Fest bit.ly/JGHotDogFest
Meatball Parm bit.ly/JGMeatball
Peas & Corn bit.ly/JGPeasandCorn
Mikey Takes Over bit.ly/JGMikey
Oatmeal Soup bit.ly/JGOatmeal
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlates
Chicken Fillet bit.ly/JGChickenFilet
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKansasCBBQ
Bacon Wrapped Steaks bit.ly/JGBaconWrapped
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
Daddy Dog bit.ly/JGDaddyDog
Hot Pocket bit.ly/JGMPHotPocket
Spaghettios bit.ly/JGSPaghettios
Liverwurst bit.ly/JGLiverwust
Twinkies bit.ly/JGTwinkies
Fluff bit.ly/JGFluff
Vegemite bit.ly/JGVegimite
Garden Veggies mndown.info/fast/video/nYKpaG1nx5ePjJs
My Kids React my 1st Stand Up TV Spot mndown.info/fast/video/rI-oZHyWsph_q58
My Kids React my 1st 1/2 hr Special mndown.info/fast/video/p6fNp66EzItygXA
DINNER WITH THE GAFFIGANS nightly 6pm E. Watch past episodes click JOIN & become MEMBER. Fee (99 cents) donated to TheImagineSociety.org.
JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food)
St.Louis Pizza bit.ly/JimEatsTheWorld
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKCBBQ
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlate
Polish Boy bit.ly/JGPolishboy
Spain bit.ly/JGSpainJETW
Colombia bit.ly/JGColombia
Paella bit.ly/JGPaella
PALE FORCE w/ Conan - mndown.info/fast/video/mn_FqaKespiHcGw
CORONAVIRUS LIFE (Try not to laugh+ CBS SUNDAY)
Welcome to Quarantine mndown.info/fast/video/sKCbd3mcxJqKno0
My Kids Ask Covid-19 mndown.info/fast/video/nnrKdZyL04mlh4U
Pandemic CBS Sunday Morning Mega Compilation mndown.info/fast/video/tY6samlkwI-Tg2g
Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.
TEXT JIM 646-980-6600

Сэтгэгдлүүд

Tim Wodzynski 4 өдрийн өмнө

Bipity bopity 🥓🥓🥓🥓, hilarious Jim 🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏👏

T Moon 18 өдрийн өмнө

13:00

Nate V Сарын өмнө

Thanks Jim for getting me through a long night of office cleaning!!

Ixnay SLO 2 сарын өмнө

"It'd be rude to eat and run."😂

Glenn 2 сарын өмнө

The bacon is the line of freedom without the BS

Beeble Brox 2 сарын өмнө

"Find the bacon in the lettuce" 😂 That also sounds like some code talk. 😂

ShinK G 2 сарын өмнө

That's your wife? Wow

ishady ishady 3 сарын өмнө

Sir, is this bacon kosher? Sure, the pig already been circumcized 😂

Paul Larsen 3 сарын өмнө

What, no bacon and cheese joke?

A. Kristof 4 сарын өмнө

You’re the best!

Jerome Mc Kenna 4 сарын өмнө

I've had fatback, my grandmother used to fry it.

shadowmergence 5 сарын өмнө

You're a goddamn national treasure, you know that Jim?

Blueberry Fundip FFXIV 5 сарын өмнө

I love when he does the small voice for the audience members as if they are actually speaking during his shows

Living hintz 5 сарын өмнө

Bacon time salt loop.

deeplydeepali 5 сарын өмнө

Aww i miss that show

daffc1 6 сарын өмнө

Love your stand up, but can Americans please stop calling the Main course an Entrée? Entrée is a French word for appetizer or starter... Only in 'Merica

SJReid82 6 сарын өмнө

How is it I can literally lip synch to every Gaffigan standup special and still manage to laugh my ass off every time? Nobody's THAT funny.

Paul G 6 сарын өмнө

Comedy gold. Also I kinda miss buffets.

halburd1 6 сарын өмнө

i agree with everything he said here, until he stopped talking about bacon

Brendan Riley 6 сарын өмнө

I happened to be eating a large Austrian donut (krapfen) for breakfast as I clicked on this.

SteakN Fries 6 сарын өмнө

😂LOL😂

theFRIS 6 сарын өмнө

ive never considered trying FatBack just because of the name

theFRIS 6 сарын өмнө

I hate bacon but h makes it sounds good..."start with a pound & end up with a bookmark" is the greatest & most accurate line

Neosis 5 сарын өмнө

What kind of sociopath are you?

Olivia12333 6 сарын өмнө

Hey, Asian person here. So he’s both right and wrong about our breakfast. We do eat anything we eat for dinner on breakfast. However we don’t eat fried cake in syrup or candy floating in milk, for breakfast or for dinner. I don’t think dessert is an appropriate breakfast anywhere except in the great United States of America.

Roxanne Maggiacomo 5 сарын өмнө

@a j l Got ya. The continental breakfast provided is specifically for the tourists, so, you're right. Bon appetit.

a j l 5 сарын өмнө

@Roxanne Maggiacomo That’s not actually true I’ve never been on a tour in my life I’m talking about experiencing what some people that actually live in those countries eat for breakfast Of course it’s not a given rule and everybody is different This is just a generality

Roxanne Maggiacomo 5 сарын өмнө

@a j l 🥐...like the ubiquitous continental breakfast served on tours. En fin, ça va, le voilà.

a j l 5 сарын өмнө

Actually not true a lot of places in Europe have pastries or biscuits with coffee for breakfast like Italy France and Belgium

Roxanne Maggiacomo 6 сарын өмнө

Nicely put. But France also has some pretty amazing pastries to have with a latte en le matin.

ghogue61 6 сарын өмнө

"Stat" 😂😃😄😅😃😂

Liam Palmer 6 сарын өмнө

If you don’t eat bacon, you live 7 more years 7 sad baconless years

Diane Peters 6 сарын өмнө

Lol. My favorite thing for breakfast is leftovers, especially Asian food. Btw I’m watching this while eating vegan pork rinds.

allan lanktree 6 сарын өмнө

"I once had a slice of bacon so thin, the pig probably didn't feel it coming off his ass." Ron James.

Roxanne Maggiacomo 6 сарын өмнө

And the little walk...

Dee Marie Dubois 6 сарын өмнө

Jim can just say one WORD and make me happy causing me to laugh like an idiot. BAAAAA CON.

Laughin Lori 6 сарын өмнө

Almost choked on my black forest cake! It's 5 am. I need help.

Roxanne Maggiacomo 6 сарын өмнө

I need black forest cake. Here's a tip: save save save up ànd don't allow yourself any until you can go (financially or pandemically) to the Black Forest and have just cake. They call it plain cake there. No they don't. They call it schwarzwaldkirschtörten. - amazing stuff. And fresh. Ach du lieber Himmel.

Fano Boss 6 сарын өмнө

Thanks for killing the funny by bringing your political bias to the forefront

Nomadia Van 6 сарын өмнө

I listen to all his videos over and over like music. He dances my giggle around.

Luis Sanchez 6 сарын өмнө

The difference is muffins don’t have icing

Aurelio Bonilla 6 сарын өмнө

🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓

Make Racists Afraid Again 6 сарын өмнө

I don't remember what bacon tastes like (it's been 52 years) but I enjoyed the bacon jokes.

1stAmbientGrl 6 сарын өмнө

Did Jeannie really do that to your bagel?

Sue Brown 6 сарын өмнө

🥓 Jim Gaffigan..President of the “Bacon Fan Club “ 🥓

Eric Martin 6 сарын өмнө

Brown sugar on bacon, Jim. Mmmmm. Dessert on bacon.... and a diabetic coma to follow. :-) Thanks for doing these videos. It's a great escape from all the BS!

susangtritch1 Tritch 6 сарын өмнө

Try sprinkling Lots of Brown Sugar on the bacon when you're frying it !!! 😋😊

Caz1242 6 сарын өмнө

Just FYI Jim said anyone voting for Trump is dumb, and so petty that you only like Trump because he insults people that make you feel dumb, you're also so petty that you know Trump is bad but you just like pissing people off and you don't care about anything else. And Trump is literally every bad thing that the propaganda has repeated ad nauseum and anyone voting for Trump knows this deep down and votes for him anyway, the only conclusion is that you are so evil you welcome this. Here are the quotes: “Look Trumpers I get it. As a kid I was a cubs fan and I know you stick by your team no matter what but he’s a traitor and a con man who doesn’t care about you. Deep down you know it. I’m sure you enjoy pissing people off but you know Trump is a liar and a criminal.” "“If trump gets elected, the economy will never come back... You know he lies. Constantly,” he said. “Yet you dont care? [sic] What because he insults people that make you and me feel dumb?"

linshanhsiang 6 сарын өмнө

Pigs are way smarter than dogs. But not as good looking....that is, they don't look as much like us. It's so unfair!

Greg Kifer 6 сарын өмнө

Thanks for your daily posts. I'm impressed at your ability to continually find new categories. Keep up the good work.

Sarah Ferrara 6 сарын өмнө

I loved the clip at the end from your show. I recently started to binge watch The Jim Gaffigan Show and i couldn't be happier. Ah well i could've been happier say if i had starting watching sooner BUT as fate has it, I needed it in my life now, not any other time. I needed it now to help me get through my minutes of life. Sometimes it's one day at a time, a week at a time...even seconds at a time for myself. Your constant witty humor is so graciously appreciated. Thanks to you, Jeannie and your kids, I have also been having scheduled eating times for dinner lately.

Roxanne Maggiacomo 5 сарын өмнө

Glad to hear you're eating better. Try to stay away from the hot pockets, though...

nadja 6 сарын өмнө

Have Dinner with the Gaffigans on Jim's MNdown Channel. 6 Eastern 3 Pacific Time. His real family is awesome. 🐋🐳🐬🐟🐋🐳🐬🐳🐟

Gary Whitt 6 сарын өмнө

Funniest man alive.

Stephanie Wiggins 6 сарын өмнө

I love y'all J&J Gaffigan! Your kids are fantastic. I see the wife's face is filling out. (Is that nice to say?)

Roxanne Maggiacomo 5 сарын өмнө

Nice to say face is filling out or "the wife"...: p

Sarah H 6 сарын өмнө

My breakfast when I was growing up was a scrambled egg, toast and coffee Mon-Fri. Saturday was bacon with toast, Sunday was not usually anything but coffee and cereal because we came home from church and had a big lunch. Then laid around until Bonanza.

First Last 6 сарын өмнө

@1stAmbientGrl ignorant

1stAmbientGrl 6 сарын өмнө

@Sarah H Wow.

Sarah H 6 сарын өмнө

@1stAmbientGrl every morning. Of course, there was a great deal of milk and a teaspoon of sugar, it was more of a latte than an espresso. I know I was having coffee with milk probably from at least 1st grade. That was at least the morning beverage. I've seldom not had a cup of coffee since then and I'm 70. The first thing I wanted after child labor was coffee.. LOL

1stAmbientGrl 6 сарын өмнө

You grew up drinking coffee?!?

ScotSpeed 6 сарын өмнө

Gaffigan is a funngry feller.

Jannette Berends 6 сарын өмнө

I was a month in the hospital, didn’t feel ill. It was a dream come true.

page familly vlogs 6 сарын өмнө

I don't like bacon by itself 😬

Daniel Hughes 6 сарын өмнө

Bacon Wrapped Waffles

janet wentz 6 сарын өмнө

“Sorry your pig died, can I come over for breakfast”? Love this guy.🤣😂

Native 21 6 сарын өмнө

Thanks for the laughs jim. Your a legend!

staydown647 6 сарын өмнө

Take that lipator I'm bacon

DrumrGal4Christ 6 сарын өмнө

Bacon is 100% good for u. Food industry doesn’t want u to be healthy... then Pharma dies.

John Taylor 4 сарын өмнө

Absolutely correct. Bacon IS good for you. Big Pharma and Medicine doesn’t want you to know and have brainwashed our society. If people only realized.

Mark Aveli 6 сарын өмнө

Hi Jim, I like bacon. Have you ever tried it drizzled with dark chocolate. I know that you will now. It's amazing!

DrumrGal4Christ 6 сарын өмнө

“Balled cupcake 🧁 “ LoL LoL LoL

Carol You tube list 6 сарын өмнө

I thought he said "Bald," (as in, no frosting)!

Joseph York 6 сарын өмнө

Knew I was not going to be an Astronaut. I didn't like "Tang".

Roxanne Maggiacomo 6 сарын өмнө

Now they have fresh orange juice delivered to the ISS. They're working on growing oranges.

Joseph York 6 сарын өмнө

@ScotSpeed Close. Trip to Cape Canaveral. Looked inside the space capsule. Couldn't get my fat ass in there. No regrets.

ScotSpeed 6 сарын өмнө

Im guessing that was reason #62. Was I close?

FixItYerself 6 сарын өмнө

mmm. had muffins for breakfast. they were leftovers from last nights dessert. they have pumpkin in them though, so im getting my daily intake of vegetables

D Renova 6 сарын өмнө

My estimations, the 7 mini muffins i had with my coffee ☕ only equal to 1 bald muffin 😋

veggieowlgirl 6 сарын өмнө

Speaking of the waffle house, after metal concerts, when the concert's over a lot of metal heads go to the waffle house. Granted it's the only thing open. Down the street.

Roxanne Maggiacomo 6 сарын өмнө

Funny sight...

Nancy Brown 6 сарын өмнө

Thanks for the laughs. Gotta go cook some bacon now.

The straight eyed Canadian Guy 6 сарын өмнө

Fried cake and bacon in the morning and you've already peaked that day. Like only goes down from there . Unless more bacon 🍁🍻lol

Steven Fry 6 сарын өмнө

More naps...then up again

ScotSpeed 6 сарын өмнө

You said "like". I gave your comment a life.

Expose The Bullshit Agenda 6 сарын өмнө

Muffin vitamins 😂

Drew The Unspoken 6 сарын өмнө

These videos aren't the reason I get up, but they sure help.

Caz1242 6 сарын өмнө

Can't take Jim's deranged and hateful politics so unsubscribed.

Carol You tube list 6 сарын өмнө

@Annaleigh Smith Agree. He's not usually offensive, even if he doesn't like Trump. (He's too funny for me to unsubscribe!)

Annaleigh Smith 6 сарын өмнө

@Tabby Reed I see. I was expecting something way worse. Jim sounded like someone who is frustrated; like he was desperately trying to warn people. He didn't sound hateful. I thought he threatened Trump or his supporters or wished them harm.

Tabby Reed 6 сарын өмнө

@Annaleigh Smith He came out as anti-Trump so now all the alt-righters have to hate him.

D Renova 6 сарын өмнө

BYE FELICIA 👋

Jim Fowler 6 сарын өмнө

Caz1242 take your hateful self outta here.