Best MEAT Jokes | Jim Gaffigan Stand-Up Compilation

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8 сарын өмнө

Of all the meat jokes I have made in my standup career, these are the best Enjoy!! What's your favorite joke in the compilation?
PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon.
:43 - Not A Strict Vegetarian
:58 - Pig Roast
1:16 - Steak vs. Bologna
1:36 - Whale Blubber
2:18 - Turkey
2:41 - Fried Chicken
3:17 - Bacon
8:07 - Meat Obsessed
9:09 - Ribs
10:10 - Bologna
11:40 - Chicken & Waffles
12:10 - Kobe Beef
14:12 - Hot Dogs
14:43 - Chicken Wings
15:27 - Steak is Manly
16:53 - Omaha Steaks
17:20 - A-1 Steak Sauce
17:42 - Steakhouse
19:11 - Reindeer Meat
19:44 - Cannibal
20:03 - Conair
Fast Food
Asian American (Full Set)
Florida Man (Full Set)
Ontario vs Quebec
Canadian Map
Dog Birthdays
Cold Weather
Japan vs China
My Wife's Brain Tumor
My Least Favorite Doctor
UK vs US
Morning Person
Fish are Gross
Steak is Manly
Idiot Abroad
Victoria's Secret
Fitness Goals
Home Birth
Fried Chicken
Waffle House
Hot Pockets
I'm Korean
Doing Nothing
Out To Dinner
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Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.
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SP Conrad
SP Conrad Өдрийн өмнө
They don't like cruelty to animals, but they will chop up a baby in the womb, no problem. LOL
Tim Wodzynski
Tim Wodzynski 6 өдрийн өмнө
It's pronounced Donna @Jim
bob c
bob c 13 өдрийн өмнө
First time I saw him was the "hot pockets" routine yrs ago, needed a stomach transplant 👍
bob c
bob c 13 өдрийн өмнө
Jim's the man!
Evangeline Petoia
Evangeline Petoia 15 өдрийн өмнө
me-being vegetarian lol
K Ahmed
K Ahmed 25 өдрийн өмнө
One of the best stand up comics of all time.
Louis Buzzi
Louis Buzzi 25 өдрийн өмнө
Thanks for the jokes Jim, appreciate the effort.
cheeseisme 28 өдрийн өмнө
347 people have no sense of humor.
Kristin Kirsch
Kristin Kirsch 29 өдрийн өмнө
I ❤🥓🥓🥓🥓
Tom Shepherd
Tom Shepherd Сарын өмнө
Meat lover's definition of salad: "What food eats"
Kristy Moore
Kristy Moore Сарын өмнө
In CA., over the past decade, everywhere has been inundated with wild turkeys. Don’t know why, don’t care, but recently a FB friend showed off his trophy “turkey hunt/kill.” Really?
Sheila B.
Sheila B. Сарын өмнө
I carried my son to see you Mr Gaffigan in Atlanta Georgia almost 14 years ago. It was the same time they were having a Furry convention. He was so excited to meet you. He thought you were the best comedian ever. We stuck around to get your autograph, but you left. And they ran around the area hoping to find you. They did and came running up to your vehicle and your driver took off. Lol My son passed away in February 2021 by suicide. I wanted you to know what he went through to meet you. As his mom, it was pretty fun to watch. Be Blessed and keep people laughing. Hot Pockets.... Ha
Flower Girl
Flower Girl Сарын өмнө
Choco Latte
Choco Latte Сарын өмнө
Bacon, bacon, bacon
Retired Marine
Retired Marine Сарын өмнө
Thanks Jim, I needed what your doing! I love to "Laugh"
Thomas Humphrey
Thomas Humphrey Сарын өмнө
All the other "pro" comics know that Jim Gaffigan is one of the best stand-ups in the business.
Michael Wein
Michael Wein Сарын өмнө
Dude, drop the intro. It makes you unfunny
Edith Dlp
Edith Dlp 2 сарын өмнө
I am vegetarian since 1994 and vegan since February 2020 and trust me I definitely DO NOT get offended by meat jokes because they are only jokes. Plus, I am definitely not the vegan teacher. Thank God.
Andrew Barsky
Andrew Barsky 2 сарын өмнө
“Bucket. Isn’t that how we feed farm animals?” Genius 👏
Frankus Maximus
Frankus Maximus 2 сарын өмнө
this guy is not funny
Rod Stinson
Rod Stinson 2 сарын өмнө
Yeah, I only watched this a few hundred times,and still hilarious 😂,
Justin AquaToad McGowan
Justin AquaToad McGowan 2 сарын өмнө
Three proper pronunciation is "balonia" So everything is wrong about saying bologna.
Harriet Craig
Harriet Craig 2 сарын өмнө
John Labus
John Labus 2 сарын өмнө
Chicken and Waffles is the is Shrimp n Grits.
COREY Callahan
COREY Callahan 2 сарын өмнө
Wow, hilarious and he doesn't have to have a foul mouth. Other comics could learn a lesson.
Matthew Bishop
Matthew Bishop 2 сарын өмнө
Rooster Cogburn
Rooster Cogburn 2 сарын өмнө
Jim you are funny as hell! I love your spontaneity, your facial expressions, voices and analogies. Performing as if you are an audience member is truly epic! LOVE YOUR COMEDY!
Clifford Yawn
Clifford Yawn 3 сарын өмнө
Bacon smells so good and even tastes better
Morofry 3 сарын өмнө
"There are 2 ways to eat bacon: either fry it or get botulism." I'm immune to botulism...
JoseLuis MariscalReyes
JoseLuis MariscalReyes 3 сарын өмнө
My cousin now's scientist candy maker
JoseLuis MariscalReyes
JoseLuis MariscalReyes 3 сарын өмнө
Mini mantions shelters
JoseLuis MariscalReyes
JoseLuis MariscalReyes 3 сарын өмнө
Taxes$1400 plus double 2021
JoseLuis MariscalReyes
JoseLuis MariscalReyes 3 сарын өмнө
Disabled janitorial doing right thing
JoseLuis MariscalReyes
JoseLuis MariscalReyes 3 сарын өмнө
I want to help with my taxes open more homeless shelters special hey I'm disabled end up in homeless shelter
Sebastian Whatever
Sebastian Whatever 3 сарын өмнө
Okay, i need some BACON now!
TwoBoys Mom
TwoBoys Mom 3 сарын өмнө
Thank you for your humor!!
Dr. Jeremy T. Tate Th.D.
Dr. Jeremy T. Tate Th.D. 3 сарын өмнө
Thank you, Mr. G.
Frank Davis
Frank Davis 3 сарын өмнө
How do you decide which voice or accent you use for the different segments of a joke?
P S 3 сарын өмнө
Have you ever seen a pig slaughtered?
Xeno Darsh
Xeno Darsh 3 сарын өмнө
You has the voice of a bacon angel! Nothing but love for you sir!
mplwy 3 сарын өмнө
David Dyrland
David Dyrland 3 сарын өмнө
Love your comedy! You are the best!
Larry Kleen
Larry Kleen 3 сарын өмнө
Technically im a vegetarian, cause i only eat animals that eat plants. Guilty by association!
Texas Honey
Texas Honey 3 сарын өмнө
0:44 🍖🥓 jokes start.
Mr. Skipper
Mr. Skipper 3 сарын өмнө
Every freedom loving human needs to BOYCOTT FACEBOOK AMAZON TWITTER APPLE And all the other companies that support the Democrat communist party If we don't stand together now for freedom We'll have no freedom President Trump started to Drain the swamp, he needs our help and support to finish it. Freedom depends on it Big tech is starting to take over👹
Eric Black
Eric Black 3 сарын өмнө
You were a lot funnier when we didn't know your opinions about things happening in society. Back in the 80s and 90s there wasn't social media. Every time a famous person had a brain fart they didn't have any way of getting it to the masses. Now all these morons are just a click away from letting everyone know how stupid they are.
Stephen Ward
Stephen Ward 3 сарын өмнө
Now I'm not allowed to call my self a carnivore, its not political correct, so now I'm a vegetarian and only each recycled grass, pig, sheep, goat, beef, venison...
Stephen Ward
Stephen Ward 3 сарын өмнө
I was under a kidney Doctor and he told me each quarter pound of meat takes 3 months of your life. I like you , am a carnivore, so I went home and calculated how many pounds of meat I'd eaten in me life; chicken, lamb sausages, bacon, steak, venison, turkey and fish. then multiplied it by 4 and then divided by 4 to calculated how many years I'd lost. Obviously I'd been born over 3000 years ago and still going... Let me explain when I went to KFC, I'd buy a 'snack' of a barrel of chicken - over 2 chooks to a bucket! - I was a hungry young person, at a BBQ I'd eat over 2 pounds of beef, plus lamb chops and sausages., and one lettuce leaf - you need vegies you know!
Lars Kjær
Lars Kjær 3 сарын өмнө
The treasures of the norse gods specifically includes a pig who regenerates when bacon if cut from it. It, along with the goat from which you can milk mead, which never runs dry, is why Valhalla is the reward for a life well liveeld.
zbigniew dzwonkowski
zbigniew dzwonkowski 3 сарын өмнө
I am vegetarian... I eat vegetarian animals... pigs, cows, sheep, chicken... beware of fish... as most of them are meat eaters...
nomercadies 4 сарын өмнө
Have to say goodbye. Politics you know.
DARLEE PETERSON 4 сарын өмнө
Don't trust anyone who doesn't eat meat! Bacon is the sex of meat!
Katie and Matt of the Knobs
Katie and Matt of the Knobs 4 сарын өмнө
Oh, dear bacon boy! You *must*, as a card-carrying carnivore, watch “Korean Pork Belly Rhapsody” on the Netflix. You’re welcome. 🙂
Tovah Guillen
Tovah Guillen 4 сарын өмнө
I’m a vegan and I love meat jokes lol I find humor in lots of stuff. Especially your humor! I die every time
I'm a cat
I'm a cat 4 сарын өмнө
This video was well done
Daniel Shade
Daniel Shade 4 сарын өмнө
Anyone who thinks meat is great is willfully ignorant and selfish. Is the #1 environmental pollution source by far. Stop thinking it’s funny like people who used to pour used motor oil into the neighborhood stream. Grow up assholes.
deep impression
deep impression 4 сарын өмнө
eddie enriquez
eddie enriquez 4 сарын өмнө
fun on a bun
Joseph Blowseph
Joseph Blowseph 4 сарын өмнө
Actually Jim, cows weren't always like they are today, and indeed were extremely difficult to catch at first until we domesticated them. Just saying ;)
Build back Better
Build back Better 4 сарын өмнө
I wonder if Al Franken is his friend, they both funny. And I like the Chinese jokes🤣🤣
Tom Wood
Tom Wood 4 сарын өмнө
I once used bacon grease to fix a hole in a tent- while it was raining.
Tom Wood
Tom Wood 4 сарын өмнө
How do you improve bacon? Wrap it in bacon.
krrrruptidsoless 4 сарын өмнө
The death of animals always makes for a great joke
T K 4 сарын өмнө
Thank you 🙏
Geoff Hennessy
Geoff Hennessy 4 сарын өмнө
You're having a steak something special's happening. If you eat bologna, you might be special.
Michaelangelo Right
Michaelangelo Right 4 сарын өмнө
More bacon. Magnificent!
STAN DUPP 4 сарын өмнө
Bacon is the cleanest, best pleasure.
PrimalColin2 On YouTube
PrimalColin2 On YouTube 4 сарын өмнө
In the UK 🇬🇧 proper bacon is what the Americans call country ham😂❤️😂 we made it first guys 😂😂😂✊🏻✌🏻❤️🇬🇧
Ray Bin
Ray Bin 4 сарын өмнө
I'll bet my bacon on that!
LUIS E TORRES 4 сарын өмнө
Idk but other comedians make me laugh only few times maybe or almost not laugh. This guy had me laughing the whole show!
Baldr 4 сарын өмнө
MNdown: here’s Jim Gaffigan’s meat jokes Me, a vegetarian: *interesting*
EM Matthei
EM Matthei 5 сарын өмнө
His hot pocket routine caused me to drive off the road when he uttered, "diarrhea pockets" I wasn't hurt, the car was fine but to this day, I can't even hear a Hot pocket commercial without breaking into hysterics.
Katie Wenta
Katie Wenta 5 сарын өмнө
I feel the bacon tray makes me socially awkward as I try to anxiously figure out how much I can serve myself before I feel others are judging me... ... and when the tongs pick up a huge cluster that won’t fall apart? Oh, the smile on my face that pairs with a shrugged “Oh well, the Universe decided I need this in my life.”
Norm Rayos
Norm Rayos 5 сарын өмнө
I’m honestly shocked this ISN’T a thing yet, but why isn’t there a bacon inspired restaurant? Just all bacon inspired dishes? Bacon & eggs, blt, filet mignon wrapped in bacon, bacon got breakfast, lunch AND dinner! You can call it, “Kevin’s Bacon”...Someone get on this.
nakrugt 5 сарын өмнө
"doner", or "döner" means "(it) turns/rotates" as the meat is cooked/fried on a vertical stick which turns/rotates very close to the heat source :)
Robert Makin
Robert Makin 5 сарын өмнө
You are the lamest comedian since Lee Evans. You are F****** poor, mate. Why do you even bother?
phillipians 4:13
phillipians 4:13 5 сарын өмнө
Wonder what whale blubber taste like
Jonathan Delgado
Jonathan Delgado 5 сарын өмнө
BRILLIANT Jim! Welcome to the Carnivore tribe! Keep the meaty jokes coming. And Veggie jokes too!
James Enos
James Enos 5 сарын өмнө
Jim your a omnivore. Carnivores only eat meat herbivores only eat plant material and US omnivores eat both.
joe down
joe down 5 сарын өмнө
look deer, the're having a sale on blitzen!
Jake From State Farm
Jake From State Farm 5 сарын өмнө
After Jim Smackigan came out attacking conservatives and over half of all Americans , it was time to walk away. Wish his videos would stop appearing under my MNdown suggestions. Used to like him, but not anymore. Walk away people. He's the reason our country will turn into a 3rd world S**thole once/if Biden gets into office. Later Comrade Jimmy.
Galaxis 5 сарын өмнө
"make the pig slop diet" XD
StukaJi86 5 сарын өмнө
!! I didn't know Jim was a anti-potatoist!!!
fun_paparazzi 5 сарын өмнө
Jim, what if you direct a film titled Six Degrees of Bacon Bits? It could be Kevin Bacon’s biography, interspersed with skits about bacon
Miranda Hannah
Miranda Hannah 5 сарын өмнө
I’ve been watching you since I was little (I’m 21 now) and me & my family say “hot pocket hot pocket” every single day.
Michael E.K.
Michael E.K. 5 сарын өмнө
Meat is ..... delicious .
LABfabulous 5 сарын өмнө
I'm vegan and loving it! Sinful I know.
Joseph Ybarra
Joseph Ybarra 5 сарын өмнө
Why America is fat. This is why. We love our bacon
Destinations Chronicles
Destinations Chronicles 5 сарын өмнө
Ok, I had to google "Donair"
David Hilt
David Hilt 5 сарын өмнө
God bless this man!
Simon 6 сарын өмнө
As soon as I get back to America, I'm gettn a maple bacon donut. The rest of the world sucks.
jorge mejia
jorge mejia 6 сарын өмнө
My wife and I saw him live in Colombia where we live, it was the last time we were in a room full of people not wearing masks. Will treasure that memory forever, Jim’s the best!
ronbo8956 6 сарын өмнө
Intro: You're three sheets to the wind. Ha jeezus, these Covid/Trump blues are making us all drink...
Joe D
Joe D 6 сарын өмнө
Bacon the candy bar of meat
Smooth Light
Smooth Light 6 сарын өмнө
Love this! ....... Me going down memory lane : ‘Member the days we could afford bacon? Hey, me to 😂
Thomas Fields
Thomas Fields 6 сарын өмнө
“Your gonna kill me??” “OH IT’S GONNA GET A LOT WORSE”
Sandy Schipper
Sandy Schipper 6 сарын өмнө
I'll just have a side of fatback please, ... hold the hairy.
Sandy Schipper
Sandy Schipper 6 сарын өмнө
Why don't they just add hairy to it. Haha
Stephanie Venditelli
Stephanie Venditelli 6 сарын өмнө
You are so hysterical!! Thanks for all the laughs!!!
ncjay08 6 сарын өмнө
When it comes to funny, noone can beat a meat joke.
Pickle Rick
Pickle Rick 6 сарын өмнө
Every comedian response to any "offended" crowd should be 20:00
Sharon Freeman
Sharon Freeman 6 сарын өмнө
I'm in the wrong line!
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